Trick not Treat! Preliminary Pathology

Stage 3 - Chemo probable

The tumor was 3.5 cm long.

It went into the muscle (which is not good) but not through it (which is good)

1 out of 29 lymph nodes showed metastatic cells

  These are nodes that were removed during surgery and sent to pathology.  

  It is good that only 1 was cancerous, but this one node bumped me up from stage I 

The cells were well differentiated.

   (cells are described as well differentiated, moderately differentiated or poorly differentiated.  

    Poorly differentiated means the cells look the most abnormal compared to healthy cells)

    So this is good - it means it is a "low grade"  cancer.

The margins were clear - meaning that the surgeon was able to get into clean healthy tissue and 

   remove all the tumor--nothing was "left"

Technically, this is stage 3 cancer because of the one lymph node's involvement.  

  - I am in very good shape for being Stage 3, because stage 3 would also include the poor soul 

    with an enormous tumor and 28 of 29 nodes involved.

  - Without the lymph node involvement, it would be stage I, because it didn't go through the wall.

This report may change somewhat by next Monday when I have my follow up visit with the surgeon -  (It certainly won't get "better" though!)

Probably chemo will be recommended in order to eliminate any cancer cells that may have floated around and landed elsewhere.  Not sure when the meeting with the oncologist is yet. We are hoping for early next week.

How am I doing?

I am numb.  

Odd how what you fear the most, happens -- I saw what chemo did to my mom, and what it has done to others and I am very very fearful

        guess it's time to dust off my memory verse cards!

Things to be thankful for:

- a clean closing and a closed chapter 

- a shower (Todd was really thankful!)

- a clean, healthy incision (3 inches)

- people who care about me - YOU!

- getting the pathology report while Todd was off work

- that the tumor didn't go through the wall

- that only 1 lymph node was involved

- that if I have to be stage 3, it is a "good" stage 3

- Carla coordinating appointments to minimize wasted time

- pretty leaves

- birds

- kids enjoying trick or treat

-the continued outpouring of support and love, cards and offers of help

    heard from an old boss and some kids that had been in youth group with us in St Louis

    I am blessed!

       (I am so blessed, I am unable to keep up y'all - Please don't be offended-I am swamped)

The Lord is close to the broken hearted 

  and saves those who are crushed in spirit

A righteous man has many problems, 

  but the Lord delivers him from them all    Ps 34:18, 19

God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble

THEREFORE (because He is all this)

we will not fear, tho the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea.....

            or I have cancer......Ps 46

Stayed Home and Misc Questions Answered

Todd went to closing - I am making sure the couch doesn't move!


If it were not for the 5 hours (at least) with a seatbelt strapped over the sorest part of me, I really feel decent enough to have gone to closing and closed this chapter! 
It is a little frustrating, but I'll get over it.  I hate missing Todd time, but just too sore to go.  
Besides, someone has to make sure the couch doesn't move!


Here's some questions people have asked:

How much of your colon did they remove?  about 8 inches


How big is your incision? 2 1/2 - 3 inches


How big was the tumor? they give the largest dimension, which was 3.5 cm


What stage is it?  have to wait for pathology - sometime this week


When will you have pathology back?  sometime this week


When do you see the oncologist?  that depends on the pathology


Do you have to do chemo? that depends on pathology - hopefully no


Do you have to change your diet?  that depends on how my body adjusts to 8" less colon --
    some people have no problems at all.  others have diarrhea the rest of their lives. we'll see


Do you have to change your activities?  can't lift over 10 pounds. pain makes me move slowly.


How do you feel?  tired most of the time. like I have a hole in my gut. (pretty words huh?)  it burns

Is there anything I can do? I could use help planting daffodils and cleaning up my back yard

   and if I don't rebound soon, cleaning my house, but I am picking away at cleaning. 

  (I can't sit all the time or I'll get adhesions!)  


How are you doing? thankful!  very, very thankful.
  --that this was found, seemingly early 
  --that Dr Carballo didn't waste time  
  --for my courageous husband who had to tell me I had cancer
  --that Doc C got me in with the surgeon, Dr Klas, quickly  
  --for the Vince Lombardi clinic (one stop shopping - all docs/disciplines under one roof)
        the amount of time it took Dad going to 3 different docs was crazy!  it took 5 days to confirm
        his diagnosis in January! 
  --for Carla, my cancer coordinator who gets questions answered and things scheduled
  --for YOU ALL who prayed to get my surgery date moved a WHOLE MONTH! 
       see the blog from 10/19
  --for YOU ALL praying me through closing down and cleaning out my dad's house in the rain
     (- an emotional end of an era...)
  --for YOU ALL who encouraged me as I did the pre-surgical testing and preparation
  --for YOU ALL who prayed specifically during my surgery and recovery time
  --for YOU ALL lifting up Todd as he cared for me -- staying in touch and keeping him sane
     (the hospital is a tough place to be, any way you slice it!) Thank you for strengthening him!   
  --for those who stepped up to shoulder some of Todd's work responsibilities so he could be 
    with me 
  --for YOU ALL caring for the dog, cards, coming to see me, praying more, dropping off food, 
  --for YOU ALL sending me notes, e-mails, texts to support and encourage me
  --for YOU ALL being so thrilled to see me again  
How am I?  I am blessed beyond belief!!!  In the face of such love and support, how can I be otherwise?


Ps 50:15 says "call on me in the day of trouble. 
                           I will deliver you and you will honor me"
Ps 78:4 says "we will tell the next generation the praiseworthy deeds of the Lord


That is why I am doing this blog -- 
   to point to the source of my strength, God. 
   to give examples of how He is not just in the big things, but also the details. 


Thank you for all you have done!  It is deeply appreciated!

Tripped the light a little too fantastic!

Few can say that Moritzes are not hard working - and we play hard too --

(Whatever you do, work at it with your whole heart as working for the Lord! Col 3:23)

I had a wonderful welcome home evening with some friends from Todd's work and worshiped this morning at our home church, Brookfield Lutheran.  

This wound me on the couch the better part of the day today -- but it was well worth it!  and I am doing much better now.  

Tomorrow is closing on my dad's house in IN.  The big question is 

will Todd go alone? 

or

will I go along?

Decisions, decisions --

It seems like such a bit of "closure" that I hate to miss tomorrow....

    (no pun intended)

We shall see -

Thank you so much for all your prayers and your support! Blessings and thanks also for sending me notes and e-mails.  I really enjoy them and am trying to catch up -- it will be a while!

I'm Back! Headin' Home!

Thanks to God's great grace and all of your loving prayers, I am able to write my own blog today and I just got cleared to GO HOME~! 


On the technical side, I got off all of my tubes yesterday, except for the IV.  
Yesterday afternoon, after a really painful morning (potassium infusion) they switched me from morphine to oral pain meds, which improved my outlook on life!  (I was more awake)
Yesterday I walked 6 times, several laps each time, and once to the lovely healing garden that is here at the hospital.  Today I walked 3 times, saving my strength for the excitement of going home.  
Today at noon I got to eat for the first time since Tues night - I was so thankful for my chicken soup and cottage cheese and jello!
  
I am so thankful to be released -- this hospital stuff is not for sissy's!  
Listening to the poor people around me makes me realize how blessed I am.  One poor person cries out in pain regularly -- another coughs so hard and so often--I am thankful that I have had no complications.  

Last night I was able to sleep from about 10 - 1 and the 1-4:30, which was a great blessing!  
The morning drill consistently, is a bit much though -- I lost track of how many people came in to poke, prode, weigh and enter data. 
To entertain you, one episode that made me chuckle in retrospect, not at the time though, was this:  My least favorite  person, was the blood draw lady that walked into my dark room at 5:00 a.m., flipped on the lights and began speaking loudly and vivaciously!  When my nurse came in a few minutes later, they carry on an involved conversation about the nurse's methods of curling her hair, all at full volume!  I'm sure I was not an inconvenience to their conversation at all!!!  :) 

It has made me laugh to see how many people are interested in the adjectives regarding what your body is producing - how much, texture etc (use your imagination!) how your pain is and what you are feeling--the more adjectives the better!  
I am convinced that I could go potty at the corner of State and Madison, based on all the people who came in and out during that process -- forget privacy!     
We are really blessed though to have a spunky nurse, Renee, for several shifts, and the consistency was very helpful.  She was instrumental in getting me off morphine and walking to the bathroom - helping to juggle the tangle of tubes and wires and then in getting me off the tubes and wires.   She has also been able to get the blessing to let me go home :)


You open your hand and satisfy the desire of every living thing!  Ps 145:16  


I am so thankful that I have had such great doctors/nurses/caregivers (even at 5 in the morning!)
but will be even more thankful to sleep in my own bed tonight!  


Thank you so much for the notes comments and prayers -- They have been such a bright spot for me -- Todd has great fun reading them to me --  It was kind of funny, he would read to me from facebook - "this is the comment" and "this is who liked it" -- and he would rattle off names -- I had to say, "I'm sorry, you have to slow down - I can't think that fast!"  My brain felt like jello! 
(I have now progressed to the "jello Jiggler" stage -- gotta be thankful for the little things!) 
As you can tell, Todd has had fun posting pictures (oh brother)  Hopefully it provided you with some grins --


I am going to nap now before I go home - oh - my second bowl of soup just arrived!!  Yay! 


Keeping you in prayer also -thank you!

progress ?

Still Todd, sorry :(

The one paragraph summary:  Christine didn't have the best night.  She was feeling really good after surgery, but as all the meds started wearing off, she is in some pretty good pain.  A wrestles night of sleep.

Now, for those who like more words (i.e., the men can stop reading now):  The nurses say she is coming along on schedule and that the pain (and management thereof) is part of the normal process.  Christine dictates when she gets pain medication (still morphine at this point).  She can get some every hour but has managed to only need it every couple of hours.

She did get some sleep, but that is tough in a hospital some time.  Early evening seems to be the best time to get some rest.  Since 5am this morning, someone is in almost every half hour for something.  Check vitals, get out of bed to get weighed (that one didn't go over very well), get pain meds, get other meds, take blood ...

She is still on a no liquid diet, but we are hoping for some clear liquids (white wine ??? - jk) this morning.  The doc should be by soon to give her the OK.  If he says it is ok, we can move all the way up to jello.

Medically she seems to be doing well.  The incision is healing fine, she isn't bloating or gaining weight, there is intestinal activity (ok, she farted twice) and all vitals are strong.  She is able to turn from side to side now on her own (although pretty painful).

Her spirits are a little droopy.  She has handled everything so incredibly well (I am so proud of her).  She is tired and sore and really done playing this game.  Your cards, letters and Facebook posts mean a GREAT deal.  I spent about an hour last night reading her over 200 messages she had received.  Over 600 hits on her blog last night - many from Europe and even hits from Alaska, Russia and Guatemala.  She is overwhelmed by your love and support.

Check back this afternoon for more.  I will post a picture of her walking!

Psalm 62
   ¹ My soul finds rest in God alone; 
   my salvation comes from him.
² He alone is my rock and my salvation;
   he is my fortress, I will never be shaken.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz ......

A lot of sleeping today.  She is in some pain, but managing pretty well.  A couple of visitors have really taken the starch out of her.  And I made her walk around the floor once.  The nurses were happy, but not so much for Christine.  Next post won't be until tomorrow and hopefully by the queen.  Thanks for the prayers.

Is 41:10
So do not fear, for I am with you; 
   do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
   I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

she's baaaacckkk

Christine came out of recovery at 10:45am and is doing AWESOME.  I am shocked - very alert, not sleepy ... I wouldn't have know anything had happened.  Praise God.  Hopefully I can give her back this blog soon.

Keep praying!
Phil 4:4 - Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!

Out of Surgery

The doctor started on time and ended early!  She was done about 8:30.  She is in recovery and will be there until about 10 or 11 am.

The doctor's report was good.  He only needed to make one small incision so the process went much faster.  It was easier he said because she is small. "The typical Wisconsin person would have take a lot longer" :-).  He took out about 8 inches and said clearly there was a "hard" area where the tumor was.  He did not see any obvious signs of the cancer spreading or it in the lymph nodes.  We will have a full pathology report at the end of next week.

I will post more later and see if she will let me take a picture :-)

He is hopeful that she can be released by Sunday.  She has to have a BM, no bloating or discomfort.

Christine is at St. Luke's Hospital (27th and Oklahoma Ave.)
Room F 3250

Thanks for ALL your prayers and concern.  literally hundreds of Facebook posts and texts.  I can't keep up with you all!  To God the glory.

Phil 1
 ³ I thank my God every time I remember you. ⁴ In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy ⁵ because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, ⁶ being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.

Surgery Update

Christine went into the surgery prep room at 6:30am.  Surgery is scheduled to begin at 7:30am.  The room is scheduled until 11:00am, but they are hopeful they will get done a little sooner.  Check back for more :-)

2 cor 12:9 - But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.

Surgery tomorrow morning 7:30 a.m.

Surgery tomorrow morning 10/27 at 7:30 am


After a few errands and a cleaning binge, I am starting the surgery prep--how fun (not!)


Today I am thankful that my date got moved up to tomorrow; 
       (thanks for being part of that miracle! see the prior posts if you missed it!)
for my docs and the surgeon;
for employment with great insurance; 
for good friends who keep me in prayer; 
for sweet words of encouragement; 
for pretty leaves and my flock of goldfinches; 
I am thankful that this is so minor compared to what other people deal with -- 
   ya it is unpleasant and kinda scary - 
   but it is nothing compared to the severe illness or death of a child or spouse, to divorce
          It is nothing compared to living in a war-torn country, or devastation, or persecution
          It is nothing compared to not knowing God's provision and strength
                                                   to facing these things with no hope. 
I am blessed!


As I prepare for surgery, and work to overcome anxiety - here's some of what gives me strength:


Josh 1:9 Be strong and courageous.  Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, 
                for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go."  (even into surgery)
Is 43:1-3 "Fear not for I have redeemed you;
                    I have summoned you by name, you are mine.
                When you pass through the waters I will be with you (not if, when! There will be trouble!)
                    ...when you walk through the fire, you will not be burned
                    the flames will not set you ablaze for I am the Lord your God.
Ps 50:15 Call upon me in the day of trouble- 
                 I will deliver you, and you will honor me!
Ps 34:18-19 The Lord is close to the brokenhearted 
                       and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
                       A righteous man has many troubles, but the Lord delivers him from them all!
Gen 15:1 Do not be afraid Christine, I am your shield and your very great reward!
                      (actually, it is Abram, but I like to think He's talking to me!)
Rom 8:31 If God is for us, 
                  who can be against us?
2 Cor 12:9  My grace is sufficient for you for my power is made perfect in weakness.
                         (it makes it easier to be weak and needy knowing this)


When facing something tough, I have often picked a verse and said it over and over to keep myself from going nuts.....these are some of those verses....Maybe one will help you.


Thanks for praying for me -- I have been lifting up those things you have sent to me--thank you for letting me pray with you!  Over the next few days, I won't have much else to do - so keep em comin'  :)


Todd will be writing for the next few times to let you know how we are doing --Thanks for checking in and for praying for us!  You are a blessing!

                   

Details, details, details

Nothing really new to report -- 


I have been working feverishly on all the details that go into being laid up for a week or so
  dad's house closing
  dog food, medicine and dog care
  putting away the mountains of stuff that came from my dad's 
      (It makes me nuts to have it all around-- it's not that I am such a domestic diva!)  
  phone calls for closing, pre-admitting, pre-surgical testing, the doc, the vet
  errands - pharmacy for meds, returns to multiple places, groc store for "clear liquids", post 
     office for closing,
  instructions on preparations for surgery -
      The pharmacist was so tactful when explaining what all I was supposed to do.  
       "Don't have any plans that evening"     hahaha  - that is an understatement!  
       and thanks to a dear friend - I have two ply to make life that much better!  :)




In the "how are you doing" category --
I am ok -- not great, not terrible --just trying to get stuff done.  
Frustration ranks really high today.   My to do list just gets longer!  
It was a lovely day and I spent it doing "stuff" and never got out in the garden, which is "fun" for me.  I wouldn't mind so much if one could SEE what I accomplished, but it is all pretty nebulous and unsatisfying.  
I know it's going to be Winter before I can blink and my daffodils are still not planted :( Anyone want to plant daffodils?  
Every once in awhile I get a wave of fear -- then I remember all the things that have happened to bring me this far--how my appointment got changed--and my fear receeds somewhat.  
I keep thinking that I will waken from a bad dream, enjoy my morning coffee and go on with life as it was---
It's not happenin' tho!  


Things I am thankful for today:  Sunshine, dear friends-near and far, phone and computer to keep me connected, trash men to haul away all my junk, my sweet dog who makes me laugh when I am crabby, pretty leaves, the birds who love my feeders, tomorrow, because Todd comes home....
     and each of these are a gift from God....
         "every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly
           lights......James 1:17


G'night y'all --

Done with the sprint--now the marathon

Dad's house is empty and clean -- and all the stuff is here--


I am thankful to be this far!  It has been some exhausting days!  Here are some high points
 - unexpected phone conferences on Wed - packing day
 - late night packing Wed night
 - stormy and pouring rain for loading
 - communication problems with the movers
 - 3 movers, 3 men from the auctioneer, 2 men from the charity shelter, my real estate agent, 
   and the buyers insurance agent all there! 
 - loading took longer b/c of the rain
 - damage to furniture b/c of foolishness!
 - many feet make big mess - cleaning took longer
 - left at 2:40 p.m. (the kiss of death)
 - miracle: despite the wind and rain, the traffic was non-existant!  I pulled in at 5! 
 - Paul is home on fall break, which was a very nice welcome home and help unloading!
 - further miscommunication with the movers (prob the worst move I have had!)
 - the furniture mostly fit where I thought (the basement is a wreck-looks like a storage locker)
 - stuff is everywhere -- very disordered - makes me crazy!

We are celebrating Paul's 21st birthday today by going to dinner and the Blackhawks game tonight - so the mess will sit - along with my garden.....


Thank you for the messages -- I am ok - exhausted - on an emotional roller coaster ----
it was very strange to roll out of Valpo for the last time.....to leave dad's house....to have his furniture here....


The Lord opens his hand and satisfies the desires of every living thing....Ps 145;16


I am thankful to be this far.  Thank you for holding us up. We love you all.  


  

You prayed - God moved the mountain!

Surgery is moved to 7:30 a.m. Oct 27th


It is not often that you get to watch a miracle unfold - but today I have.  
The red tape involved in getting me scheduled was pretty thick. 
I had gotten the date at the end of next month several days ago, and was working the phone to get it sooner -- getting no where and feeling pretty desperate about it
This morning, during devos, I had a duh moment -- ask people to pray.  
I asked y'all to pray about it--  
This afternoon, the bureaucratic mountain moved!  


Who says God doesn't hear prayers?  
And if the answer had been next month, he still would have heard, and there would have been a reason....
but I am doing a happy dance!!  Dance with me!  
Thank you so much for lifting this up!  


Back to packin

No Lynch Syndrome!

The biopsy tested negative for Lynch, so the surgery will be the simpler removal of just the cancerous portion of the colon!  

Thanking God for this great gift!! 

I am off to the title company - then back to packing!

Thanks for praying for me and for all the sweet text messages, e-mails and comments -- 

Surgery date

My surgery date is 11/29.  Please pray that they can get me in sooner.  


We are trying to still enjoy Thanksgiving -- Karl and Gretchen are coming and we are trying to go see them for Christmas.  Of course I want surgery asap, but don't want it to interfere with my plans :)  I am sure you get it!


Thanks for the prayers -- God's timing is perfect--I just need to trust and wait and pack!

Watchful waiting

Still no health news --
Moving news - The truck loads Thus and delivers on Fri!  


About scheduling the surgery -- well, we are workin' on it!
    I'm working on being patient, 
    the scheduler is working on finding me a slot and 
    Karla, my case coordinator, is working on getting it done without stress-- I am thankful for her!  
About the Lynch syndrome - waiting


About dad's house -
One of my friends observed that the house may be God's way of keeping me from stressing about the cancer -- I do not sit well, as a few of you know :)  so having meaningful work, with a deadline is a very good thing!  Thankful for that!  
Also thankful for all the packing paper Sarah saved me from her move--you can get boxes from anywhere, but paper makes it go easily!!    
The house is getting emptier though, so I can see the progress.  Yay!
The battle of the leaves had me wondering, until a friend came over and blew leaves for several hours!  Very thankful for that!  There was only a little bit left to do and I borrowed a rake from one neighbor and a tarp from another and was done in 1/2 hour!  Good neighbors are a gift!  Now if the forcasted wind and rain will just blow away from the house and not toward it!  :)
Ah well -job security!


Thank you for the prayers, notes, texts and phone calls!  You lift me up, give me strength and leave me speechless. I am blessed!  Thank you!
  
The Lord bless you and keep you.  
The Lord make his face to shine upon you 
The Lord lift up his countenance upon you and give you his peace.....

no news yet....

I wasn't planning to write until we had a date to give you, but so many have contacted me asking when surgery is, but --
I don't know yet! 
We are working on scheduling, but between waiting for Lynch results and the surgeon's schedule, we have challenges.  
(Can you believe there are other people besides me who need surgery???)


The scheduler asked if I wanted surgery Wed - as in the day after tomorrow.  
Did I mention that I am in Indiana, trying to finally get this house EMPTY and set up movers and execute the move?  as in by-the-end-of-the-week?
so no, Wed would not suit me!
but mostly because we won't have the Lynch Syndrome results yet..... 
poor thing -- she said -- "I'm sorry ma'am, I am just the scheduler.  He told me to ask."  
hahahaha (laughing is more fun than crying!)
The next available was mid - late November - which feels really far away.  This is supposedly a slow growing cancer, but I am verifying that.  
I promise to let you know when I am scheduled.  
  
Things I am thankful for today:
      friends of friends praying all over the country for me-WA, MT and NC- wow!
      an unexpected conversation with a friend this morning- and the hug to go with it!
      safe travel to IN for me and to upper WI for Todd
      my sweet old travel buddy Chance (God, Pls keep him goin'--he is such a blessing to me!)
      the men from the homeless shelter who came and took lots 'o stuff that I don't have
          to deal with now!  
      a soft bed, in a warm house, with clean water, in a country at peace! 
      internet from my dad's wonderful neighbors and 
      cell phone service so I don't feel so alone!
      for Karla, the cancer coordinator - who deals with all my docs and answers all my ????
      You!  Thanks for the outpouring of love -- In all my life, I have never felt this kind of support
          and love.  I continue to be "blown away!"   


Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, present your requests to God,  and the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.   Phil 4:6-7


I am proof of this peace -- without it, I would be in the rubber room - and Todd would be so sad without me!!  :)


May you know this peace!  
love and thanks to you-

Q and A

Here's some questions I have gotten --
What kind of cancer do you have?
     moderately differentiated invasive adenocarcinoma - the most common form of colon 
     cancer
What stage is it?
     they have not staged it yet -- that will happen in surgery
How big is it?
     3 - 5 cm - flat along the wall of the colon not going completely around it though
Where is it?
     Sigmoid Colon - Left side of my body - prob just below my waist line
How long have you had it?
     3-5 years  (that is so weird to me!)
What's the next step?
     Wait for the first round lynch syndrome results (should have mid week)
Who are you rooting for - Brewers or Cardinals?
     Being a Cub fan, that is really hard.  Brewers, I guess because so many of my friends here
     are so very, very excited. However, last night they sure didn't deserve to win anything!!!  The
     general feeling here seems to be somewhat apprehensive because "the Cardinals always 
     win."   To be really truthful -- I haven't had time to think about it! 
How are you doing?  in one word - overwhelmed. For details, see below :)
     My dad's house has me fully occupied - making decisions about what to keep, to auction,and
     to donate, bearing  in mind that "keeping" means its coming here -- which is full already!  
    
     We have to move things around here to accommodate what I do want to keep, which means 
     a lot of emptying to move - and as long as we are emptying, lets decide what to part with, -- 
     and how shall we part with it? donate or sell--will the boys want it? aahhh
     Throw in a little (lot) of guilt that I am not treasuring everything that was a treasure to my
     parents and it can really mess w your head!  Fortunately I have Todd who says "pitch it!"
     
     A constantly playing symphony in the background of my brain is the projects I had wanted to 
     get accomplished this Spring, Summer and Fall (like new windows to keep us warm this 
     Winter) and planting daffodils so Spring comes brightly.  
     
     Other than that?  Basically, I am fine - with a few lapses into bitterness -"why me" --- or into
     panic --- with an occasional turn into grieving --- or a trot down "anger" alley.  
     I think this means I am normal?  That should bring a few comments!  :)  
         He who dwells in the shelter of the most high
         will rest in the shadow of the almighty (Ps 91:1)  
             not "will struggle", "will rest."  I am working at sticking close to my God

Other misc info: 

Normal Bloodwork and vitals are all very good. (I am healthy!)

Tumor markers came in at 1.3 and normal is 0 - 5 so that would not be a red flag.

     This is a blood test that checks for elevations that would indicate a tumor growing 

     somewhere in your body

I continue to be so very thankful for all of you who are lifting me up in prayer and for your sweet words of encouragement.  So many of you also have serious situations in your own lives -- I am honored that you take time for me--and truly humbled!  Thank you so much.  If you send me messages, I will lift you up also.  That way we can encourage each other.  Blessings to each of you! 

A funny thing to be thankful for --

I am thankful to say that the cancer is in the colon and not in the rectum!  


People are so funny when they say--oh I am so glad!  and then hastily say - well not that you have cancer but, you know.....
:)
This means no chemo, just surgery!  Yippee!  (funny how perspectives change!)
We are still waiting for results from the Lynch syndrome test, but will optimistically move forward and schedule surgery -- 


We should know the first pass results on the Lynch on Wed or Thus.  


Lest you think I live in a perpetually positive world, I was not as calm going to this appointment as I would have liked to be.   The receptionist was a lovely lady.  When she asked what I was there for and why, she looked very surprised and asked if I was really there for that.  When I said yes, she referred to God's timing being perfect, but that she was praying that the cancer would be all gone  :) She reminded me that we have a good God who loves us -- and then she came out from behind her big reception desk and gave me a big hug.  God story or coincidence?  I know my answer!  He knew what I needed right then and gave it to me!  


On another note -- some people have e-mailed that they cannot leave comments.  I think that I have changed the settings so now you can.  Let me know if you cannot and I'll try something different.  


I am profoundly thankful for this news -- it leaves me free to finish up at my dad's house without having to worry about chemo!   Thanks for reading this and for all the thoughts and prayers!  We appreciate them a great deal!  


For some reason I am very tired -- a nap sounds perfect!

Thank you and don't wait

Made it home safely --

Came home to dinner, cards, flowers and presents from y'all -

I continue to be humbled by the outpouring---

     so many people praying for me -- (I think 11 different communities of believers!)

     so many kind words--

         I would like to write you each personally, but I am behind already!

           

"I thank my God every time I remember you, in all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the Gospel .....  Phil 1:3

   

Thank you!  I will post tomorrow after my tests--Hopefully by then we will know exactly where the cancer is located.

On a different note - if you are stalling getting your colonoscopy done - suck it up and go! It is not that big a deal!  If you have questions e-mail me and we can talk.  I never really thought I had a problem... Neither did my gastroenterologist!  

Further - my mother taught me always to look for blood in the toilet bowl ---  graffic I know --but if this helps just one person it's worth embarrassing myself.  

We hear "Early detection is critical" --The docs said that this had probably been growing for 3-5 years :(    not a happy thought.  

I cannot believe the stuff I am discussing in this blog !  My area bible study girls used to say that I was full of all kinds of bizarre information!  lol      

God Moment

Thought I would share this even though it isn't a cancer thing - I think it is pretty cool how God takes care of me.


This Summer as I was working down here trying to move things around so the painter could get in we moved about 2000 books into the garage and stacked them up for the sake of speed.  Every morning I would get up and walk Chance very early like 5 because of the heat - and then spend as long as I could stand it working in the garage, boxing books.  


FastForward to today


In order to sell the house, I had to have safety cables installed on the garage door springs (why they weren't there I will never know!)  
After he had installed the safety cables, he was checking the doors.
  
One of the springs broke!  


I am thanking God that he protected my repair man (it happened after the cables were on) 
and that he protected me, all those many days I was working alone (the cable was frayed)
and that he protected my friends who came to help me work
and that the repair man was here, so I didn't get charged for another call!  


That got my heart goin' for today!  


I am off to keep sorting - packing - yada yada yada - 
Thanks for walkin' with me!

 

I love this -- A friend sent this to me -- What a great way to start a day!  Draw me close Lord!

A Mess

Makin' progress at Dad's ----At least I think I am making progress!  


How come organizing makes such a mess??? 
I have piles everywhere -
Keep - Donate - Donate Elsewhere - Ship -  Buyers - Auction - Buyout - Pitch -


As I watched the moon rise tonight I am again thankful for all of you -- The prayers are keeping me glued together.  So many kind words and encouragment coming in - texts, e-mails, wall posts, phone calls, messages, comments, links, cards.  Thank you seems so inadequate for what I feel.  You are blessing us!  Thank you! 

Peace Maker - Greg Ferguson

Moonset and Sunrise

The advantages to getting up at 4 when you can't sleep anymore:

    You can sort 2 bathrooms, 2 closets, 1 dresser and the linen closet before breakfast

    Drive thru has a short line 

    You can soak in the beauty of moonset as well as sunrise while walking the dog

    Seeing the chipmunks playing before their breakfast makes you laugh :)

    

Today is a decision day --

  sorting, pitching, packing,donating day --

    everything I touch or look at is a decision.....

      yuck!

Tired but peaceful --

Got scheduled for test on Fri at 1 to see where exactly the cancer is.


I am in Valpo, trying to dissolve Dad's household.  It gets harder to come down here every time...
and I miss my sweetheart.


While I was working today, I realized that the few symptoms I had started after we buried my Dad.  The colonoscopy didn't happen until after the house was sold.  God removed one burden before I got attacked each time.  Coincidence?  Not so much!  


Things I am thankful for today:
scripture to keep me focused
internet and cell phone so I can hear from you
dear friends who pray me strong
pretty weather 
Chance for happy, furry company 
a soft, warm bed cause I am beat!


Be joyful always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus......I Thess 5:16-18


G'Night y'all -