Side effects are limited to numb fingers and toes, bad balance, clumsiness, aches and tiredness -- I am very thankful it is not worse. My feet have numbness over the whole foot now and my balance is really off! Typing and fine motor things are not the easiest! My energy seems good, but often I will hit a wall and have to rest or sleep. The doc says that it will take 6 mos to 2 years to be back to normal. Neh 8:10 - the joy of the Lord is my strength!
You know how it is when you come back from vacation...everything that you didn't do still needs to be done! This week I have been a bit overwhelmed....
The problem is that it has been gorgeous weather, and I have all these domestic things that I am supposed to be doing! I still get tired, so if I do the fun things, the "have-to's" don't happen! Self discipline - where are you???
I was really sad to come home and find out that the finch nest in front had been robbed and the parents are gone :( It was really hot while we were gone, and some of my plants really took a beating :( and the house is empty with Paul gone -- we had a whole 24 hours with him, which just is not enough! and my house is a mess! whine, whine, whine!
However, in 2 months Karl will be getting married :) which is a very happy thought! and Chance still has peppy days -- in between long naps! and my garden is starting to bloom
and the baby robins playing in the birdbath make me smile.
Have you ever tried to discern God's will? It is difficult sometimes--quite a process in fact. God speaks to us through the Bible, prayer, circumstances and the church. (Experiencing God by Henry Blackaby.)
When you are seeking God's will, you need to spend more time in the Bible and in prayer-which for some of us, with short attention spans, can be quite a challenge! In an effort to be more disciplined, I have been reading in the new testament - but I get derailed quite often! Dirt therapy provides much time for prayer, but again - I get distracted...Can it be that the devil doesn't want me to discern God's will??? Oh yeah!
Circumstances are those things that happen around you - a random comment by a man at Menards--a verse that comes back to you -- something your child says -- They all can be indicators! Writing them down in chronological order has helped me to see them more clearly -- of course that means that I have to be disciplined about writing them down! If I don't tho, I find that I forget some of the things and the pattern is not as clear.
The church refers to your Godly friends. Talk through the issues with them. See what their comments are - write them down so you don't forget. Ask for their prayers and wisdom. Sometimes they say back to you what you just said, and you have a revelation.
Sometimes after they have prayed about it, they will call you and share some wisdom.
Jer 33:3 says, " call to me and I will answer you, and tell you great and unsearchable things that you do not know!"
We are supposed to ask -- but in this world that is full of words, music, electronic devices and to do lists -- it is hard to quiet your heart to hear what He says.
We are to "be still and know that I am God" from Ps 46:10 --
but oh that is so hard! Yet it is the only way to discern his will.....
Thank you for checking in --
I will probably blog over the weekend and then early next week, but I will be heading back to St. Louis for a wedding -- one of my area bible study girls is getting married! :) It is hard to blog while I travel, because there is so much to do - and I don't want to type just to type -- There needs to be a worthwhile message for you!
Blessings to you all! and thank you!
Thursday, May 24, 2012
Thursday, May 17, 2012
Vacation!!!
Side effects continue - same old - fingers, toes, some nausea, some tired, hair falling out, nails breaking -- but --
I am getting to deal with them in Telluride instead of Franklin!
2 weeks ago yesterday I was disconnected for the last time --
Todd and I celebrated by doing a 5 mile hike to Bear Creek Falls - a beautiful "easy" climb which served to highlight how far I have to go to get in shape again!
This time away has been a great blessing --
Todd and I have gotten to spend good time together--great conversations!
I've gotten to do "steam therapy" to purify my system from the chemo.
My soul has been rejuvenated by the beauty of these mountains.
It has been fun to not have a schedule or an agenda - like going down a road just to find
out where it goes or having chocolate for "lunch" or walking the golf course just to check
it out (you didn't know I was so devoted to golf did you??? - more like devoted to Todd!)
Other surprising things -
I continue to process my dad's death - this upcoming weekend will be one year that I went to Valpo, not to really come home til after his death, and the sale of his house, 3 months later.
The place we are staying is gorgeous and has a German theme -- The architecture reminds me of my dad's tudor house - but on a much grander scale! In our unit, there is a photo on the wall of a mountain that my dad climbed - overlooking a town where he and my mom danced on their honeymoon....
The silverware is made by the company that made my grandmother's and my mother's silverware....
The pictures in the hall remind me very much of things that I saw when spending time with my grandparents....
So though this has been a real celebration, there have been some valuable times of being away and "feeling" all those things that I just ignore by keeping busy - which is not the healthy way to do it -- it's just how I have always done it :)
The chemo is also something that I have to work through -- when you are in it - you don't really process it - you just move on to the next thing on the timeline. Now, finally it starts to sink in that I had cancer, I went through chemo and now I should be "cured." When we hike, I get so frustrated that my heart is ready to pop out of my chest and my breath comes in gulps and my legs feel like jello. Todd reminds me again that all those nasty medications are still running around in my system making me tired and everything else. It is easy to forget.....
Don't get me wrong -- we are having a wonderful time! It is beautiful - the weather has been wonderful -- we mostly have the place to ourselves (this is the time of year the locals close up shop and go on vacation or that they do their between season spruce up -- paint, powerwash, plant and prepare) the wildflowers are blooming...oh this has been such a gift!!!
God has woven in the threads of sadness and tiredness, but they highlight the fun, the joy and beauty surrounding us! He knows what we need!
We are so blessed and thankful for the gift of this trip --
Phil 4:19
and my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus
1 Thes 5:16-18
Be joyful always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus
Thanks for checkin' in --
I won't be posting much for the next few days because we fly home tomorrow and get up early Sat morning to drive Paul to Henning MN for his Summer job -- We drive back on Sunday--I'll be back early next week! Blessings to ya'll!
I am getting to deal with them in Telluride instead of Franklin!
2 weeks ago yesterday I was disconnected for the last time --
Todd and I celebrated by doing a 5 mile hike to Bear Creek Falls - a beautiful "easy" climb which served to highlight how far I have to go to get in shape again!
This time away has been a great blessing --
Todd and I have gotten to spend good time together--great conversations!
I've gotten to do "steam therapy" to purify my system from the chemo.
My soul has been rejuvenated by the beauty of these mountains.
It has been fun to not have a schedule or an agenda - like going down a road just to find
out where it goes or having chocolate for "lunch" or walking the golf course just to check
it out (you didn't know I was so devoted to golf did you??? - more like devoted to Todd!)
Other surprising things -
I continue to process my dad's death - this upcoming weekend will be one year that I went to Valpo, not to really come home til after his death, and the sale of his house, 3 months later.
The place we are staying is gorgeous and has a German theme -- The architecture reminds me of my dad's tudor house - but on a much grander scale! In our unit, there is a photo on the wall of a mountain that my dad climbed - overlooking a town where he and my mom danced on their honeymoon....
The silverware is made by the company that made my grandmother's and my mother's silverware....
The pictures in the hall remind me very much of things that I saw when spending time with my grandparents....
So though this has been a real celebration, there have been some valuable times of being away and "feeling" all those things that I just ignore by keeping busy - which is not the healthy way to do it -- it's just how I have always done it :)
The chemo is also something that I have to work through -- when you are in it - you don't really process it - you just move on to the next thing on the timeline. Now, finally it starts to sink in that I had cancer, I went through chemo and now I should be "cured." When we hike, I get so frustrated that my heart is ready to pop out of my chest and my breath comes in gulps and my legs feel like jello. Todd reminds me again that all those nasty medications are still running around in my system making me tired and everything else. It is easy to forget.....
Don't get me wrong -- we are having a wonderful time! It is beautiful - the weather has been wonderful -- we mostly have the place to ourselves (this is the time of year the locals close up shop and go on vacation or that they do their between season spruce up -- paint, powerwash, plant and prepare) the wildflowers are blooming...oh this has been such a gift!!!
God has woven in the threads of sadness and tiredness, but they highlight the fun, the joy and beauty surrounding us! He knows what we need!
We are so blessed and thankful for the gift of this trip --
Phil 4:19
and my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus
1 Thes 5:16-18
Be joyful always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus
Thanks for checkin' in --
I won't be posting much for the next few days because we fly home tomorrow and get up early Sat morning to drive Paul to Henning MN for his Summer job -- We drive back on Sunday--I'll be back early next week! Blessings to ya'll!
Friday, May 11, 2012
Dirt Therapy for Frustration
Side effects are the same - I have not gotten any mouth sores though which is a first in a very long time! Hands-feet-balance-clumsy - all about the same. Sensitivity to the sun is more of a problem now than it was when I was not outside much -- I have to be careful about burning. Thankful they are not worse.
Have you ever worked really hard to accomplish something? You work, sacrifice, seek God's counsel and are proud of how far God got you -- and then people misjudge you-- they call you names....
Question your motives...
Attack your character....
Have you ever had that happen? Can you relate to the knife in the heart feeling? Have you felt really alone?
When hurt deeply, my M.O. is to retire to the garden, where I exhaust myself amending clay to make soil, splitting and moving plants--and talk to God with just the plants and birds as an audience-- It's hard to get over the hurt -- especially if it's intentionally and publicly inflicted - kinda like the pharisees did to Jesus!
Ecc 1:9 does say, "there is nothing new under the sun!"
We should not be surprised by this kind of behavior!
Remembering everything that Christ went through and endured, makes it seem that my deal is much, much smaller -- much less painful.
Tho it still hurts
- it still makes me mad
- I still want to get even............(You didn't know you were getting a confession did you?)
Somehow at the end of a day like this, not only am I stiff and sore, but I have a deep peace, an appreciation for nature, for God's provision and my situation seems more bearable.
My temper is sweetened watching a pair of chickadees build a nest together - and I think of Matt 6:26...the birds neither sow nor reap, but God feeds them - "are you not much more valuable than they?" Some days I think not! Especially when my attitude is in the toilet, but God in his great grace chose to save me and always loves me......I am blessed!
Makes me think of Mandisa's Stronger --
He knows this is gonna make you stronger...
I am thankful for
baby robins and their parents
a momma finch guarding her nest when I get too close
the chickadee family
beautiful blossoms
sunshine
sunscreen so I can be outside
phones
safe travel
God's presence to cheer me up
Thanks for checkin' in! Have a great weekend!
Have you ever worked really hard to accomplish something? You work, sacrifice, seek God's counsel and are proud of how far God got you -- and then people misjudge you-- they call you names....
Question your motives...
Attack your character....
Have you ever had that happen? Can you relate to the knife in the heart feeling? Have you felt really alone?
When hurt deeply, my M.O. is to retire to the garden, where I exhaust myself amending clay to make soil, splitting and moving plants--and talk to God with just the plants and birds as an audience-- It's hard to get over the hurt -- especially if it's intentionally and publicly inflicted - kinda like the pharisees did to Jesus!
Ecc 1:9 does say, "there is nothing new under the sun!"
We should not be surprised by this kind of behavior!
Remembering everything that Christ went through and endured, makes it seem that my deal is much, much smaller -- much less painful.
Tho it still hurts
- it still makes me mad
- I still want to get even............(You didn't know you were getting a confession did you?)
Somehow at the end of a day like this, not only am I stiff and sore, but I have a deep peace, an appreciation for nature, for God's provision and my situation seems more bearable.
My temper is sweetened watching a pair of chickadees build a nest together - and I think of Matt 6:26...the birds neither sow nor reap, but God feeds them - "are you not much more valuable than they?" Some days I think not! Especially when my attitude is in the toilet, but God in his great grace chose to save me and always loves me......I am blessed!
Makes me think of Mandisa's Stronger --
He knows this is gonna make you stronger...
I am thankful for
baby robins and their parents
a momma finch guarding her nest when I get too close
the chickadee family
beautiful blossoms
sunshine
sunscreen so I can be outside
phones
safe travel
God's presence to cheer me up
Thanks for checkin' in! Have a great weekend!
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
motivation - where are you???
Side effects the same - not much better- not much worse - the clumsiness and numb fingers are such a pain - everything that is fine motor is difficult. My mood has been pretty cranky since last night, which is not fun - just ask Todd! walked 3 1/2 miles today! yay!
Today has been overcast, some rain and colder than I was hoping for. My mood and motivation to accomplish anything matches the day! Yuck! It is so hard to remember that I am still dealing with these toxins when I feel I should be acting "normal" - whatever that is!
I really loved "Jesus Calling" today. It starts "Don't be so hard on yourself. (It always throws me when I get a message that is perfectly timed!!) I can bring good even out of your mistakes.....look to Me...anticipating that My infinite creativity can weave both good choices and bad into a lovely design......Thinking that you should live an error-free life is symptomatic of pride. (wow!) Your failures can be a source of blessing, humbling you and giving you empathy.....failure highlites your dependence on Me! I am able to bring beauty out of the morass of your mistakes......" (what a great descriptive noun - a morass! sounds like a boggy swamp of quicksand - which is exactly what some bad decisions are like!)
This passage is amazing! I love how reassuring it is -especially because I am very good at re-hashing the past and regretting things. It points out how silly it is to think I won't make mistakes -- and how those mistakes cause empathy -- which will be a blessing when I express it to someone else! I just love it when God brings good out of the morass of my mistakes!!
He is amazing!
Today I am thankful for
an oriole and an indigo bunting at my feeders (I hope they stick around)
warblers singing
cleaning out a closet
leftovers so I don't have to cook
my snuggly blanket
puffs plus lotion
a friend's good biopsy report
the prayers of a child
rain to water the earth
sun after rain
Is 46:4 I will sustain you and rescue you
Ps 91:1-2He who dwells in the shelter of the most high will rest in the shadow of the almighty
I will say of the Lord, he is my refuge and my fortress, My God in whom I trust
Jer 32:27 I am the Lord, the God of all mankind - is anything too hard for me?
Thanks for checkin' in!
Today has been overcast, some rain and colder than I was hoping for. My mood and motivation to accomplish anything matches the day! Yuck! It is so hard to remember that I am still dealing with these toxins when I feel I should be acting "normal" - whatever that is!
I really loved "Jesus Calling" today. It starts "Don't be so hard on yourself. (It always throws me when I get a message that is perfectly timed!!) I can bring good even out of your mistakes.....look to Me...anticipating that My infinite creativity can weave both good choices and bad into a lovely design......Thinking that you should live an error-free life is symptomatic of pride. (wow!) Your failures can be a source of blessing, humbling you and giving you empathy.....failure highlites your dependence on Me! I am able to bring beauty out of the morass of your mistakes......" (what a great descriptive noun - a morass! sounds like a boggy swamp of quicksand - which is exactly what some bad decisions are like!)
This passage is amazing! I love how reassuring it is -especially because I am very good at re-hashing the past and regretting things. It points out how silly it is to think I won't make mistakes -- and how those mistakes cause empathy -- which will be a blessing when I express it to someone else! I just love it when God brings good out of the morass of my mistakes!!
He is amazing!
Today I am thankful for
an oriole and an indigo bunting at my feeders (I hope they stick around)
warblers singing
cleaning out a closet
leftovers so I don't have to cook
my snuggly blanket
puffs plus lotion
a friend's good biopsy report
the prayers of a child
rain to water the earth
sun after rain
Is 46:4 I will sustain you and rescue you
Ps 91:1-2He who dwells in the shelter of the most high will rest in the shadow of the almighty
I will say of the Lord, he is my refuge and my fortress, My God in whom I trust
Jer 32:27 I am the Lord, the God of all mankind - is anything too hard for me?
Thanks for checkin' in!
Monday, May 7, 2012
"Getting Better slowly" and "Dealing with Fear"
Last nurse check today! no blood draws til next month (shouldn't be for 3 mos, but liver enzymes up again) Side effects- some better, like indigestion is less frequent - but fingers/toes still really numb, haven't felt one finger in 5 days now and can't wear sandals because toes are so cold/numb. Lack of coordination seems a bit better (no jokes here!)
I am amazed how God continues to bring good from this -- Have had several conversations with people about fear -- They had situations going on and contacted me asking for scriptures -- I am honored that they asked and also to be able to share God's strength! So here are some "go to" scriptures for coping with fear, in case they are of help to anyone else:
Jer 29:11 I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord -
Plans to prosper you and not to harm you --
Plans to give you a hope and a future.
Is 43:1-3 Fear not, for I have redeemed you, I have summoned you by name, you are mine.
When you pass through the waters, I will be with you and
When you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you and
When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned --
The flames will not set you ablaze, for I am the Lord your God....
Ps 34:18-19
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
A righteous man has many troubles, but the Lord delivers him from them all.
Ps 46, 121, 91and 23 - the whole thing - favorite excerpts
Ps 46:1 God is our refuge and strength, an ever present help in trouble.
Therefore, we will not fear, though the earth give way......
Ps 121:1 I Lift up my eyes to the hills, where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth....
Ps 91:1-2 He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High
will rest in the shadow of the Almighty
I will say of the Lord, "He is my refuge and my fortress
my God in whom I trust
Ps 23:4 even tho I walk thru the valley of the shadow of death
I will fear no evil, for you are with me.
Phil 4:13 I can do all things thru Him who strengthens me
Phil 4:19 My God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus
Phil 1:6 He who began a good work in you will carry it to completion until the day of Christ
Jesus
Ps 50:15 Call upon me in the day of trouble
I will deliver you and you will honor me!
Rom 8:28 God works all things together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.
There is an assortment of encouragement. When you are facing fearful situations, hang on to these verses - either put them on your favorite, always-with-you electronic device or go the old school way and write 'em down - or both. I found a small composition book (2 x 3) that fits in the back pocket of my jeans. I wrote many of these in there and took it with me prior to surgeries or scary appointments.
By the way, if you are trying to encourage someone else - texting scripture to them is powerful. Looking at your phone is socially acceptable, whereas reading your bible in public may be more conspicuous than comforting!
Send me your favorite "courage" verses-I can always use more!
Thanks for checkin' in!
Blessings to you!
I am amazed how God continues to bring good from this -- Have had several conversations with people about fear -- They had situations going on and contacted me asking for scriptures -- I am honored that they asked and also to be able to share God's strength! So here are some "go to" scriptures for coping with fear, in case they are of help to anyone else:
Jer 29:11 I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord -
Plans to prosper you and not to harm you --
Plans to give you a hope and a future.
Is 43:1-3 Fear not, for I have redeemed you, I have summoned you by name, you are mine.
When you pass through the waters, I will be with you and
When you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you and
When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned --
The flames will not set you ablaze, for I am the Lord your God....
Ps 34:18-19
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
A righteous man has many troubles, but the Lord delivers him from them all.
Ps 46, 121, 91and 23 - the whole thing - favorite excerpts
Ps 46:1 God is our refuge and strength, an ever present help in trouble.
Therefore, we will not fear, though the earth give way......
Ps 121:1 I Lift up my eyes to the hills, where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth....
Ps 91:1-2 He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High
will rest in the shadow of the Almighty
I will say of the Lord, "He is my refuge and my fortress
my God in whom I trust
Ps 23:4 even tho I walk thru the valley of the shadow of death
I will fear no evil, for you are with me.
Phil 4:13 I can do all things thru Him who strengthens me
Phil 4:19 My God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus
Phil 1:6 He who began a good work in you will carry it to completion until the day of Christ
Jesus
Ps 50:15 Call upon me in the day of trouble
I will deliver you and you will honor me!
Rom 8:28 God works all things together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.
There is an assortment of encouragement. When you are facing fearful situations, hang on to these verses - either put them on your favorite, always-with-you electronic device or go the old school way and write 'em down - or both. I found a small composition book (2 x 3) that fits in the back pocket of my jeans. I wrote many of these in there and took it with me prior to surgeries or scary appointments.
By the way, if you are trying to encourage someone else - texting scripture to them is powerful. Looking at your phone is socially acceptable, whereas reading your bible in public may be more conspicuous than comforting!
Send me your favorite "courage" verses-I can always use more!
Thanks for checkin' in!
Blessings to you!
Sunday, May 6, 2012
Hangin' in there
Side effects continue -- hands and feet are more numb than they have been--really bugs me - the joints in my hands are kinda sore also - balance is poor - my moods are more up and down - hair keeps falling out -- nausea comes and goes without much warning - morning clumsiness until my muscles "wake up" - some trouble sleeping - headaches - runny/bloody nose combination
I am very thankful to be this far and so very glad I don't have to go through any more chemo -- The side effects are bothersome--today as I walked up to communion, my balance was really off. Was thankful not to be too obvious! In the morning when I walk Chance, it takes about 3/4 mile for me to be able to walk without having to concentrate on it.
However - it could be so much worse! I should not complain! I haven't posted for a variety of reasons - tired and cranky probably are at the top of the list, but truly it's more the "up and down" moodiness- it's like a buzz, then a crash - and I don't write well when crashed, and it happens faster than it did. I just have to figure this out better to "get back in the groove" My fingers also are pretty numb and that makes typing a pain in the butt - whine whine whine --
no really good excuses - but there they are! Sorry to be cranky!
I need a serious attitude adjustment - Very thankful for
rain
watching plants grow
worship
God's promises
encouraging others
that I am done w chemo
a finch nest in my clematis vine -
friends like you
2 Cor 12:9 My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness
(This was my grandparent's wedding verse)
I am very thankful to be this far and so very glad I don't have to go through any more chemo -- The side effects are bothersome--today as I walked up to communion, my balance was really off. Was thankful not to be too obvious! In the morning when I walk Chance, it takes about 3/4 mile for me to be able to walk without having to concentrate on it.
However - it could be so much worse! I should not complain! I haven't posted for a variety of reasons - tired and cranky probably are at the top of the list, but truly it's more the "up and down" moodiness- it's like a buzz, then a crash - and I don't write well when crashed, and it happens faster than it did. I just have to figure this out better to "get back in the groove" My fingers also are pretty numb and that makes typing a pain in the butt - whine whine whine --
no really good excuses - but there they are! Sorry to be cranky!
I need a serious attitude adjustment - Very thankful for
rain
watching plants grow
worship
God's promises
encouraging others
that I am done w chemo
a finch nest in my clematis vine -
friends like you
2 Cor 12:9 My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness
(This was my grandparent's wedding verse)
Thursday, May 3, 2012
Joyful even when feeling gross???
Side effects - hands and feet-still numb/tingly - indigestion/nausea worse than they have been the last few times--very tired - feel weaker than I have in several rounds -- hair falling out more again -
Even tho I feel disgusting, I am so joy filled to be at the end of this valley. I am not sure how this works - but I feel so peaceful -- It has to be God! Even while confined to "resting" - I have had several God appointments, where I could help other people through my keyboard or my phone. It is a great blessing to be able to do this - especially because my brain feels like it is mush.
Have spent the day alternating between nausea, naps, God appointments and dirt therapy -- it could have been a much worse day! It could have been November 3 instead of May 3!!! I am thankful!
The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want......He restores my soul....(Ps 23)
Even tho I feel disgusting, I am so joy filled to be at the end of this valley. I am not sure how this works - but I feel so peaceful -- It has to be God! Even while confined to "resting" - I have had several God appointments, where I could help other people through my keyboard or my phone. It is a great blessing to be able to do this - especially because my brain feels like it is mush.
Have spent the day alternating between nausea, naps, God appointments and dirt therapy -- it could have been a much worse day! It could have been November 3 instead of May 3!!! I am thankful!
The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want......He restores my soul....(Ps 23)
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
Disconnected for the last time!!!
The euphoria of being disconnected and all done has receded before side effects that are a bit stronger than they have recently been. Indigestion is bad and closer to nausea- fingers and feet are getting number - now it is the whole sole of my feet :( Sleep is not the greatest - and I am changing colors - white, grey, yellow and pink -- yesterday I looked wind-burned I was so red/pink!
I can hardly contain myself -- to be disconnected from my chemo pump for the last time is such an emotional thrill! I could just dance - if I felt better --
I was feeling good all day until later afternoon and then the down hill slide started....
I am thankful
to be disconnected for the last time
dirt therapy thanks to some friends who brought me plants and helped me plant them
a beautiful day
anti nausea medicine
a soft pillow
that the end of this chapter is coming
for all of you!
Ps 18:46
The Lord lives! Praise be to my rock! Exalted be God my Savior!
I can hardly contain myself -- to be disconnected from my chemo pump for the last time is such an emotional thrill! I could just dance - if I felt better --
I was feeling good all day until later afternoon and then the down hill slide started....
I am thankful
to be disconnected for the last time
dirt therapy thanks to some friends who brought me plants and helped me plant them
a beautiful day
anti nausea medicine
a soft pillow
that the end of this chapter is coming
for all of you!
Ps 18:46
The Lord lives! Praise be to my rock! Exalted be God my Savior!
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
1/2 way thru the last one!
Side effects are holding - same as yesterday -- mostly tired.
Quiet day today - made it to bible study thanks to a chauffeur! Napped and did a few domestic things - and that is about it!
Streams in the Desert had several lines today that really jumped out at me.
"I often hear people praying for more faith, but when I listen carefully to them and get to the essence of their prayer, I realize it is not more faith they are wanting at all. What they are wanting is their faith to be changed to sight.
Faith does not say, "I see this is good for me; therefore God must have sent it."
Instead, faith declares, "God sent it; therefore it must be good for me."
Faith, when walking through the dark with God, only asks Him to hold his hand more tightly."
There is much in those words - we want our faith to become sight --
instant gratification!
and
"God sent it; therefore it must be good for me....."
-- how difficult to wrap my brain around....
Thank you for checking in --
Quiet day today - made it to bible study thanks to a chauffeur! Napped and did a few domestic things - and that is about it!
Streams in the Desert had several lines today that really jumped out at me.
"I often hear people praying for more faith, but when I listen carefully to them and get to the essence of their prayer, I realize it is not more faith they are wanting at all. What they are wanting is their faith to be changed to sight.
Faith does not say, "I see this is good for me; therefore God must have sent it."
Instead, faith declares, "God sent it; therefore it must be good for me."
Faith, when walking through the dark with God, only asks Him to hold his hand more tightly."
There is much in those words - we want our faith to become sight --
instant gratification!
and
"God sent it; therefore it must be good for me....."
-- how difficult to wrap my brain around....
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