Blessed to go to Montana and also to have another dear friend (kinda like my niece) visit!Endured Chemo #9 last week
Feeling fair - chemo rougher due to a cold (my Montana souvenir!)
Spirits ok -
Weight ok - struggling with dehydration
Sleep is ok - I don't skip many naps, but night sweats are a pain
Skin fragile but ok
Hair continuing to fall out - mornings are very emotional as I get ready for the day!
God has less to count these days (Luke 12:7 NCV)
God even knows how many hairs you have on your head
Mouth sores come and go - thankful for "magic mouthwash!" to control it
Runny nose, cough and congestion - just to add to the fun
Did not walk enough last 2 weeks but had a great time playing with our grand daughter before chemo and visiting with friends after.
I continue to marvel at the miracle that God has granted to me. Two weeks ago, I got to spend time in beautiful Montana with our older son and his family and I spent far more time on the floor playing pretend
Another thing that got stretched was my brain cells --
My son was teasing me about my major "fear of missing out" on anything- but when you realize that you have far less opportunities to than you thought, it suddenly becomes even more important to do all you can with the limited time you have left. It was great to be able to help our daughter-in-love to arrange the nursery, sort clothes, toys and books and in general be in her world. It did my servant heart to be able to help out - and I was further blessed and amazed by the energy that God granted to me to enjoy it! Yay God!
Chemo 9 was on Tuesday - and it went ok -- They administered the anti nausea slightly differently, so rather than falling into a deep deep sleep for 2 hours, I dozed. Then I dozed when I got home, and all evening and then woke up at 2 a.m. wide awake....It kind of threw everything off. Having a nasty gross cold did not help either!
I am continuing to struggle more with nausea and for longer. In the past the one anti nausea pill would work 98% of the time with an occasional booster of a different kind of anti nausea medicine. This time, I got a third kind of anti nausea medicine and have used it several times in addition to the #2 booster...
I confess, it makes me a little bit edgy-nervous-concerned, to see how each chemo is a bit harder, and takes me a little longer to bounce back. With only 2 weeks between times to "heal" there really is not much time to work on getting stronger. It stands firmly in God's hands and I trust him and try hard to shove scary doubts out of my head. Having company come was a fantastic distraction!
Bet you wondered if you would hear about my hair! Well in an effort to not disappoint, I have to say, my hair keeps getting harder for me emotionally as it is still falling out...I know you must think I am almost bald by now - well - guess what? not quite, but you are pretty close. I can still get away with not wearing a hat, but it's clear I have something going on, Last week a friend went with me to the wig boutique just to explore options. Not sure how I feel about this, tho I was pleasantly surprised at how nice they were. Another friend was so helpful talking with me about scarves and options etc. I still need to do more hunting, but the fact of the matter is that the docs say that you may experience thinning, but after you are done, your hair will grow back....except that I am unfortunately on chemo for life, which means I won't get the regrowth option.....
Underneath the words of the last paragraph are lots of tears and lots of emotions...Last time around, my hair thinned, but I have lost about 4 x more hair than I did last time! It is only hair, but it is also sad/ upsetting.
Then there is the question of do I shave my head? be twins with Todd? ugh - so hard to think about....
Feel free to message me if you have thoughts/opinions/insights - but pls be patient if you don't hear back right away - thanks!
Along those lines, it was very emotional this week, to commend to the Lord a fine man who served faithfully at our church in St. Louis. He had battled bladder cancer and beaten it into submission, but it roared back and claimed his life. His beautiful wife was one of those women that I look up to as a wonderful role model and teacher. After 49 years together, I know that she leans completely on God to get her through losing her best friend. Many weep with her - me included - often...
This brings me to my biggest prayer request - Please pray that I not become immune to the IV chemo like I did the low dose chemo. Pray that the cancer cells continue to respond properly to the chemo and that I am able to bounce back and build strength between each round....
Jehovah Rapha - The Lord my healer -- has blessed us immeasurably...
Thankful for God who blesses me with life events that may seem ordinary, but are not when you days are limited
for your prayers, your friendship
for the antics, laughter, and snuggles of our grand daughter
for our extended family whether by blood, marriage or faith
for Todd who makes trips and events happen for me - so blessed!
for an opportunity to serve God by listening to and praying for friends
for the start of bible study - missed my Tuesday morning friends!
for anti nausea drugs
for wigs and the kind lady that helped me
for friends who have walked this path and share tips and tricks
for God holding me up through it all
for friends who visit and provide much needed distraction
for friends who drive me everywhere
for decongestant and kleenex
for the tiny volunteer-made pillow that cushions the seatbelt where it presses on my port and hurts
for cucumber lemonade that tastes decent when water makes me gag
for magic mouth wash
for hummingbirds, flowers, fountains and my fantastic husband who tends it all to bring me joy
for potatoes still tasting ok even when nauseated
for energy to keep fighting this battle
for you all for blessing us with your prayers and love
We love y'all! Thanks for checkin' in!
