Doing well! Troubled by side effects
not sleeping (moon or chemo do you think?)
mouth sores - very painful :(
hands and feet are swelling at times, burning hot at times and cracky peely
chemo makes my sinuses work overtime, so my nose is cracked and painful also -
makes sleeping hard !
energy flags pretty quickly
Very thankful to have energy despite the new side effects!
I was blessed on Tues to be able to attend Bible study and still have enough energy to attend Midge's funeral...It was stunning to me to see in her writing, in her Daniel workbook "Death is the last foe Jesus conquers" (not sure I quoted that exactly right) She wrote that last Tues and began her journey home Wed.
The lesson for that week was on Shadrach, Meschach and Abednego in the firey furnace. Beth Moore talked extensively about the fire --- When we have fires in our lives,
We can be delivered from the fire -- in which case our faith is built.
We can be delivered through the fire - in which case our faith is refined.
We can be delivered by the fire into Jesus loving arms - in which case, our faith is perfected.
This was the lesson that we studied last Tuesday -- the last lesson Midge studied...and now her faith is perfected!
God's timing is stunning......it is perfect - even if we don't understand...
Ps 75:2 I choose the appointed time
Mark 13:33 Be alert, on guard! You do not know when that time will come...
God is seldom late, but He is never early...
When things go wrong, you have a choice how to react.
You can waste time and energy being mad at God and getting bitter - or you can give the whole mess to God and ask Him to bring good out of it.
This is a very difficult thing to do. It is not easy to have your entire life turned upside down! I'd be lyin' if I said there were not tears shed and a bit of panic! When you have buried both parents because of cancer, and you find out you have cancer -- you have to work really hard to not just scream at God!
"It's not fair - we just got dad's house sold-we are supposed to be empty nesters-able to travel on a whim and enjoy "freedom"-we've been separated from May-August -- we were planning to get some late season camping in - to do a getaway to recover from our separation --to celebrate Your goodness in everything that happened with my dad's situation--I am young- I have things I want to do--even some things for You--but I have plans! - it is not fair - I don't want to die - I don't want to endure chemo-to be sick- I don't want to deal with this - I just want my life to be the way it was - I am sick of seeing doctors, surgeons and sick of hospitals and clinics after last year w my poor dad....aaarrrrrrgggghhhhh I am so mad - don't you care? don't you love me?????
To these cries, I feel my loving heavenly Father pointing out all the ways in which He has blessed us over the many years together (30 in April!)
-adopting a 16 yr old when we were 26 (fools rush in where angels fear to tread!)
(this is a whole fantastic story full of God's intervention!)
-Todd's success professionally
-Our houses selling rapidly when we needed them to
-Our call to St Louis
-Healthy children
-Our faith growth
-His guidance and protection of us through marriage struggles
-a great church/school home that made faith real/practical/relevant
-our children's faith, which is truly their own!
-God calling Todd out of the secular world (our family all thought we were nuts! fanatics)
-Our kids protection from the devil's work
-His perfect timing calling us here
Paul declared for Concordia Mequon in Nov.
LHSAGM came into the picture in Dec - interviews and a call
time for a family vacation/decision to answer the call
-His intervention time and time again with the Lutheran High School Assoc
-getting to see Karl more than we thought(he lives in MT and flights are grossly overpriced)
-jobs for our kids in a down economy
-Many many God moments throughout my dad's illness and death (to many to list here)
-The very few symptoms that pushed me to not dawdle getting to the doc(see the 10/9 post)
-The speed with which I was seen at the Vince Lombardi clinic
-The huge amount of people who cared and prayed for us (still do!)
-The surgery date being moved a whole month (thank you for praying)
-The speed with which I healed
-Karl becoming engaged to a Godly woman of great strength and character
-The mild Winter (for the stinging hands)
-That my feet (which the reynauds affected greatly in the past) are unaffected!
-The meals and rides that just keep on coming.
I know I am missing some,but that's a long list
When I look at that--at all God has provided for me - for our family
How he has not just given us the bare necessities -
but how He ices the cake and serves it with champagne and roses...
How can I possibly continue with my ranting???
Ro 8:32 He who did not spare his son, but gave him up for us all, how will he not also, along with him, give us all things?
Ps 145:16 You open your hand and satisfy the desire of every living thing
Because I used to be very bitter, and it is ugly -my only choice is to give this to God, and pray that he will use it to His Glory.
He was pretty clear with me that I was not to be shy about sharing all this with you
(I still can't believe some of the things I say--but I get continued feedback that it is helpful)
I believe that He has a plan (Jer 29:11), that He has work for me to do (Eph 2:10), and that He works all things to good for me because I love Him(Ro 8:28).....
Since this is the road that I am on,
I am thankful that I am not alone (Is 43:1-3) (Ps 23) and
I chose to be better,
because I have done bitter, and it is miserable ....
Praying that He gets the glory.....
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