My Doc dialed back the dosage of some of the drugs because of my side effects last time-
It is almost 7 o'clock and this chemo is yet again a bit different - probably because of the blood boosting shots and me working out a bit more. Side effects:
tingling in hands, back to second knuckle, which makes me clumsy typing and texting -
I have to run my fork under hot water so it gets warm and I can grab it.
flue-like body aches - my hips especially ache - larger muscles also
tiredness (napping is a regular event)
headache
everything tastes "off" -everything has to be tepid - no hot, no cold.
my coloring is kinda yellowish
my eyes don't focus very well - things are a little blurry
some nausea - earlier than usual - the sea bands** keeping it controlled!
**If you are not familiar with sea bands, they are elastic bands that you wear around both wrists. They have an accupressure button that presses on the insides of your wrists and helps to control nausea. Walgreens has them for 12 bucks. Perhaps this can be a blessing to someone else. I live in them for about 8-10 days after chemo. I do need the compazine anti nausea drug, but I think this puts off when I have to start it, and lets me get off it earlier.
emotions very sensitive - I get teary easily
my hands cramp up and
I walk kinda funny - very carefully, like I am drunk :)
So how am I doing?
I went in Monday thinking I was going to have chemo and was shocked not to get it. I walked in this morning thinking I was not going to get chemo and had to really fight mixed feelings that I was getting it -- on the one hand I was thankful not to put it off--but on the other hand, it was 40 and beautifully sunny and I had already planned what I was going to do between now and Monday! and it was a lot of fun stuff mixed in with the "have to"s.
This is certainly an emotional roller coaster!
Very thankful to be staying close to on schedule instead of a whole week behind
Also thankful that they cut the doses of some of the medicines.
Thankful for dinner coming
Thankful for my neighbors who care for Chance, and check in on me several times a day
Thankful for my sweet bible study sisters who drive so far to give me the gift of participating in that study and "girl time"
Thankful for the encouraging e-mails, cards, and phone calls
Thankful for energy enough to do a few trips up and down the stairs (I feel so much better!)
Thankful and privileged to pray as I lie in my twilight haze of sleep/wake
Thankful also for multiple, deep-sleeping, hopefully healing, naps in that haze...
Thankful that even tho I do not understand why, God has me where I am supposed to be --
could I take the good things from Him and say thank you and fight the "bad" things?
do I not believe that He can bring good from anything?
do I not believe in his sovereignty?
The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away -
Blessed be the name of the Lord - Job 1:21
And in case you think I am a freak, no this isn't easy to believe. It is a trust lesson that He has taught me over years of me journaling events, going back and seeing how he worked things out -- These years were hell to go through,but when I looked back and saw how God
solved the unsolvable -
moved the unmovable--
taught the unteachable and
changed hearts,
then I began to understand...
Then I could see how he used those hellish years to grow me,
and take care of other things as well
and bring good from the mess...
Praying that I learn and grow stronger through this journey.....
Thanks for checking in - Watch for God working in your circumstances....
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