Very Thankful!

We were blessed to have a wonderful Thanksgiving!  Thank you for all the loving greetings!  


Time FLIES! especially when my family is all together!  We had so much fun being together-- getting to know Gretchen and just being together as a family--
we ate lots 
 enjoyed fires in the fireplace  
  played lots -- games and artistic creations with the nephews and niece 
   talked lots 
    worshiped together
     visited with dear friends
      laughed a lot
       watched MASH
        played canasta and monopoly (no competition in this family!) 
         did a bit of shopping
          watched movies
           cooked more 
            ate more
             went through lots of my dad's things, making lots of decisions
              loaded up my dad's car - which is now Karl's girlfriend Gretchen's car so full
               saw them off Sat a.m. to drive to Montana-stopping near LaCrosse to visit her family
                met St Louis friends for breakfast
                 put up our big creche (manger) with Paul
                  watched football and hockey
                   did never-ending laundry
                    worshiped with Paul
                     took him back to Concordia
                      bought a Christmas tree
I am sure you understand why I didn't blog while we were together!  


Through all of this fun, I have felt good!  I am so very thankful!!!  
The "amped up " jittery feeling left Wednesday evening and I felt almost normal.  


The house is very quiet now.  
During worship this morning, when they said my name on the prayer list, it made me puddley-eyed again as the reality of chemo tomorrow reared it's ugly head again.  
It's hard to explain what I am feeling -- not really fear -- apprehension maybe? 
just not sure what triggers the tears......maybe it is that Karl is so far away and family time is so few and far between.....
   though we are planning to go to Montana for Christmas, so I will get to see him in a month....
      if I am healthy enough to travel.....
   which means that I will see him 4 times this year - which is double the usual number of times! 
That is something to be thankful for!  


The boys got me an IPOD touch for my birthday (we waited to celebrate til we were together) 
Their thinking was that I would have music and scripture at my fingertips to encourage me when I get panicky.  What an amazing gift! They gave me technology lessons (no I am not proficient yet) and showed me how to load things onto it!  Thanks Karl, Paul and Todd!  
I am very thankful for such a powerful weapon to combat the apprehension - the blues.

So back to what triggers the tears --- 
I realized in church, as I was trying to be discreet wiping tears away, that my focus slipped from my God to my apprehension.  I was hostessing a major pity party -- 
all my fun is done - now I have to do this hard, yucky, painful thing...
It is so easy to fall back into that ego-centric thinking....so tough to remember that I am NOT the center of the universe (that may be a news flash for some of you - lol and you thought YOU were the center of the universe...hahaha)


"Measure the size of your obstacle against the size of your God"  
     Wise words, I think from Beth Moore.


I just need to remember them -- 
to live them 
to take every thought captive and make it obedient to Christ (2 Cor 10:5)  
to remember that His grace is enough for me because His power is perfected in my weakness (2 Cor 12:9)
to be joyful always, 
to pray continually and
to give thanks in all circumstances .... (1 Thess 5:16-18)
to praise Him in the storm
to not let my focus shift away from God
to trust Him......


Blessings to you -- and thank you for your continued prayers, support and kind messages!