Pathology Revised - Oncologist's recommendation

Final Pathology - 6 lymph nodes out of 29 involved (rather than 1)    :(     still stage 3
Oncologist's recommendtion: chemo (Folfox) every 2 weeks for 6 mos
    by infusion in the office, then by a portable pump for 46 hours
side effects - nausea, diarrhea, perhaps hair loss, feeling cold, mouth sores


For some reason, hearing that 6 nodes were involved rather than just 1 hit me harder than I would have thought.  I kind of got "stuck" there.  
This tells us that the cancer "spread" more than initially thought.  It also increases the possibility that these nasty little cancer cells wound  up elsewhere as well.  At this point they would be pin dots, not able to be picked up by a CAT scan.  The most likely place that they would go would be the liver.  It makes the need for systemic treatment more urgent.  


I am blessed to have an oncologist with a sense of humor, who genuinely cares about me.  He said flatly that he hadn't thought to see me again after our meeting on 10/10 at the Vince Lombardi Clinic.    He encouraged us to have chemo since I am a teenager, can be cured.  (told you he had a sense of humor! )  
Also, he has Todd's hairline, and when talking about side effects, said he couldn't make any guarantees about hair loss with chemo, since he hasn't had much luck with growing his own - said with a wry chuckle.  


I ponder that word cured......are you ever cured?  really?    He says yes - that he has patients who have been clean for 18-20 years, but still come back to see him to say hi.  He said it was nice to see people doing well.


My mom used to say that when you have cancer, every with little hitch in your giddyup, you wonder if the cancer is back --
If it preys on your mind like that -- are you truly cured, even if the cancer isn't active?   
Or is that one of those thoughts that you have to take captive and make it obedient to Christ? 


When we talked about chemo, I did ask about alternative therapies, and he smiled and said that if he had cancer, he would try anything....just please not to take it on the infusion days because of the possible drug interactions.


In order to move forward with chemo:
  I need to decide to do it and let him know so insurance can bless it
  Dr. Klas, my surgeon, needs to give me a clean bill of health (hopefully Mon)
    my incision is healing well-I am moving better-I am tapering pain meds-even since yesterday!
  I need to have a medi-port installed - a port under the skin, into which the medication can be 
    infused.  The only other option is a pic-line  - which would remain an open avenue for germs
    because it is external to the body.  The mediport is installed underneath the skin, thereby not
    being an open avenue for germs, because  the skin closes over the port.  
         I am not very excited about either of these, but the port seems better than the pic line (a pic
           is basically a large guage IV inserted on the under side of an arm.  This is an avenue 
           whereby germs can travel into my body --


At this point, I am leaning toward having this, but it is very difficult to decide to do something that will be physically difficult and unpleasant - especially for 6 mos.
(The goal of chemo, said rather  roughly, is to take you to the point of death, and then let your body rebuild) 
The up-side, as our older son said is that I would be finished by Summer - hopefully.
 If anyone has personal experience with this kind of chemo, I would love to hear about it.


How am I doing?  
Numb - teary - feeling like I am being sucked into a whirlpool - kinda scared


I will choose to be thankful for:
Dr Jacob Frick, Dr James Klas, Dr Fernando Carballo
Todd, who faithfully is able to set aside his feelings, and analyze all the information - and hug me 
  when the feelings can't be kept aside - who makes me laugh and sees the hope and prays
YOU - who care enough to come read this and pray for us.  
Sunshine
Pretty leaves
God, who is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow (Heb 13:8) and who has a plan for my life
    (Jer 29:11) and work for me to do (Eph 2:10)
My parents and grandparents, who demonstrated what it means to depend on God when 
    nothing else is certain and especially my mom, who taught me to love God's word.


Thanks for reading this --