Overwhelmed. Fearful. Hopeful

Feeling ok, still have a cold & low energy probably from sugar withdrawal/diet change.
Have dropped almost 10 pounds - trying to eat more
Got a call to place my port yesterday and it put me in a tail spin. Not ready for that! 
Got a call from City of Hope from admitting, but still no second opinion appointment time. 
Tomorrow (Friday) is our appointment with the integrative doctor - 

So how am I feeling?
Overwhelmed.
Fearful.
Hopeful.  

Overwhelmed with massive quantities of information, much of it contradictory.  
Fearful about the future - 
Hopeful for clarity tomorrow - 
    Really hopeful, but often doc appointment's pose questions with no answers.  


I felt pretty strongly the need to quit with the research (trying to figure it out by myself) and just spend some time with God,(trust Him) so that's what I did this morning.  

1 Sam 30:6(b) 
But David found strength in the Lord his God (or "strengthened himself")

The best way for me to do that is to read/pray favorite verses.  

Ro 8:6 The mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace.  

Ps 94:18-19 When I said, " my foot is slipping," your love, oh Lord supported me.  
    When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought joy to my soul. 

Lord you know that my anxiety is great, and I want my mind controlled by your spirit - please help me to catch the worry thoughts and make them subject to you, (2Cor 10:5) and listen to your words for comfort.    

Is 7:9(b) If you do not stand firm in your faith, you will not stand at all.  

Ps 37:8(b)  Do not fret - it leads only to evil...

Col 3:2 Set your mind on things above, NOT on earthly things...

Ps 141:8 My eyes are fixed on you sovereign Lord...

John 11:40 Did I not tell you that if you believed, you would see the Glory of God?

I know that standing firm on your strength is critical to withstanding fear and that fretting distracts my focus.  Keep my eyes  fixed on You and Your promises so that I will see your glory.  

Deut 1:30 The Lord your God who goes before you, will himself fight for you, 
    just as he did in Milwaukee,(Egypt)  before your eyes.

Thanks for this reminder Lord -- you fought mightily for me in Milwaukee the last time-- You will fight for me again.... Show me what you want me to do for treatment.  

Fear not for I have redeemed you, 
I have summoned you by name, 
you are mine.  
When you pass through the waters
I will be with you
when you pass through the rivers, 
they will not sweep over you
when you walk through the fire, 
you will not be burned.
The flames will not set you ablaze
For I am the Lord your God
           Is 43:1-3 

Thankful for:
God's word and the strength that comes from Him
Energy to accomplish simple tasks like changing sheets or washing a floor
Gorgeous, cool weather
Hummingbirds "bossing" each other at the feeder
Lizards doing pushups in the sun
Walking 2.5 miles again without wheezing too badly
Friends, family and fun videos of our grand daughter
Continuous outpouring of love and prayers from all of you

Thanks for checking in~you are so important to this battle! Thank you!