Trying to prepare.

Pain Medicine has balanced pretty well, for this 24 hours anyway!
Trying to prepare mentally for tomorrow: 
          10:30 oncologist, 
          1:30 urologist, 
          3:15 haircut (you don't need to pray about the haircut - LOL!)

So how am I really??
Blessed to be released to use Ibuprofen in conjunction with acetominophen!  Made all the difference!! Have been pain free for the last 24 hours -- Hallelujah!!  So thankful.  

Very emotional -- 
Even though I know that the frozen section revealed cancer, until my oncologist tells me what I have, there is this ridiculously stubborn, blind streak that keeps telling me that God can do anything and it could be nothing.....
(at least I acknowledge that it is ridiculous, stubborn and blind!)  
I still have a few moments each day where I forget about reality - and then it crashes down on my and tears are very nearby. It's hard not to anticipate the worst.  

When asked how I was doing today, my rather flippant response was, 
"Ridin the rollercoaster --- Calm and trusting then shakin' and pukin'! "  
Yup - that's pretty accurate!  

Trying to focus on blessings like a card from a friend from quite a few years ago, thanking me for sharing some scripture verses written on 3x5 cards.  She told me how she had carried them with her for several years and ended up sharing them with another friend who needed them. 
I have no memory of doing that!  It was just something I did, because she was my friend. She heard of my recent struggles and she blessed me with a list of verses to strengthen me.  

That is the only way for me to prepare for tomorrow--soak in God...
Here are a few of the ones she sent -- Pray that they bless you!

Matt 28:20 I am with you always, to the very end of the age.....

Is 41:10 Fear not for I am with you, 
     Be not dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen you.  I will help you.  I will uphold you in my righteous right hand. 

Matt 11:28 Come to me all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest.

John 16:33 I have said these things to you     so that in me, you may have peace. In the world you will have trouble, but take heart - I have overcome the world! 




Thanks for checkin' in!  I appreciate all the kind words and prayers and the beautiful cards --They encourage me so much!