Peaceful ....

Made a decision -

Weight holding (barely)

Still wear out easily

Stent discomfort discouraging me from exercise

Seeing holistic cold-laser-therapy doc on Monday

I believe that we all have a given number of days on this earth - "Our days may come to seventy years or eighty, if our strength endures;" Ps 90:10.  Given the last few months, sadly, mine may be shorter than we originally thought.  We all have God assignments (Eph 2:10) Until God tells me I am done working, I am going on the assumption that there is more for me to do this side of heaven.  

With that mindset, we have considered that whatever the time frame is, spending 2/3 - 3/4 of it sick (best case)  is not how I want to live my last days!  Weighing into that decision are the facts that chemo does not kill off all the cancer stem cells (so it will be back)  and it can alter the cancer cells and make them more aggressive. Instead, I am going to follow what has been my gut instinct since the very beginning.  I am turning  my life upside down.  Obviously, the way I have been living has gotten my body to this "sick" state and I need to live in a healthier way --  detox a lot, eat better, cleaner food, sleep longer, explore the mind-body healing connection, manage stress better, laugh more and learn to play more.  We all are going to die  -  I'd rather die this way, striving to live life more in line with the way He intended us to live, than with poison dripping into my body.   It is a blessing to be able to choose -- many never get a choice.....

I have cancelled my port placement on Monday.  We have an appointment with the oncologist on Wed.  Hopefully, she will not "fire" me as her patient and will agree to scan me again down the road.  Prayers appreciated for that conversation please, since clearly, good bloodwork means nothing for me!  I'll continue researching alternative therapies and implementing the ones that make sense for me.

Not everyone will agree with this direction and some may be very upset.  Many may think I am crazy!  I understand -- this is contrary to what many people would do - to what I did last time! Either decision takes great courage.  It is so difficult to make a decision like this - gut-wrenching really! The inevitable thing is death. I am praying that God grants my body healing and delays the inevitable.  

If God was ever going to live up to his name, Jehovah-Rapha-The Lord who heals you - he will do it for me!  Why?  Because so many of you are pounding on heaven's gates, discussing me with Him!  Thank you!!! 

I am so thankful for:

the opportunity to choose my treatment plan

God's peace accompanying our decision

the opportunity to do normal things like attend 

   events with Todd, FaceTime with the kids, 

   play in the garden or sort books at the thrift shop

all the research resources-ideas you've sent  

the loving ongoing support from so many people-

farm fresh eggs 

amazing, powerful prayers prayed over me

YOU  - praying for me! 

    Thanks for checking in! 

PS

Does anyone besides me think it is God's timing that The Truth About Cancer is airing exactly over the weekend where I had to make this decision???

Thankful for this series~