More Performers in the Circus

The oncologist  and the urologist did confer.  The urologist wants a colo-rectal surgeon involved in doing the biopsy also.  The oncologist called one, who will contact the urologist in the next few days and they will confer. After they chat, the urologist will call me to set up a pre surgical consultation and hopefully schedule the procedure to biopsy the lymph nodes and place the stint...and so we wait...

Details
This is somewhat different than it was in Milwaukee.  There, I had several Docs all collaborating on my case, but my oncologist seemed to be the ringmaster of that circus.  Here, there are several rings in the circus - each with it's own ringmaster.  During this biopsy section of the circus, the urologist is the ringmaster.  Once I get a diagnosis, then the oncologist becomes the ringmaster.  My oncologist told me she usually is not involved until there is a cancer diagnosis -- so I am thankful for her extra help in connecting with the other doctors...I cannot figure out why the urologist wants a colo-rectal surgeon involved -- this is not in my colon -- it is in the abdominal cavity!  Guess he is just covering his bases!

In conversation with the oncologist, she did say that she is concerned that the lymph nodes are metastasized colon cancer.  Because of insurance, she told me that she would write up the authorization for a port and chemo so that they process while I am waiting.  That way, once we get pathology results, we will be approved and won't have to waste time waiting.

I appreciate her pro activity - but it made my stomach flip-flop to hear her say that...
Trying to remain positive in the face of that conversation is pretty tough! 

However our God is mighty and able!  He is my healer - Jehovah Rapha!  These silly nodes could be anything!  

Whether they are cancer, or they are not -- God is still on the throne --
He still has a plan - He carried me before - He will again! I know I will be ok --
   But - it is very hard to think about!  

Matt Redman's song was very poignant for me when we left St Louis, and then when I had cancer last time.  It becomes sweeter (not easier - but sweeter)each time I choose to say - "Blessed be the name of the Lord."  I have found that it is better- easier- more peaceful to choose this way rather than to rant and rave at God.  Ranting and raving exhausts me and robs me of His peace......If this is the road you have for me, yikes - I'm scared -- but so be it....  

Blessed be your name
on the road marked with suffering
tho there's pain in the offering
Blessed be your name....

Every blessing you pour out 
I'lll turn back to praise 
and when the darkness closes in Lord
still I will say

Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be your glorious name

You Give and take away 
You Give and Take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord Blessed be your name

Thankful for the beautiful weather to chase my gloomies away!
Thankful also for the cards and e mails that keep on coming in -- I am amazed at how kind people are!  There are people who barely know me - but a friend asked them to pray -- and they send me beautiful cards and notes!  I am truly humbled -- Thank you all!

       Thanks for checkin' in!