Final opinion on PET! Happy Dance!!!

Spoke with Oasis of Hope again this morning and all my doctors there conferred and looked at the images from August and from December.  A PET is 3 D and he referred to 3 specific different angles that they studied-
This is very important because my oncologist never actually looks at the images - she relies on the radiologist's report.
He told me that in all the images the SUV - or sugar uptake - or cancerous activity-
   was less than in August!!
All the sites that they said were new, were actually on the August scan!!

(Clarification: the radiologist for my oncologist was comparing Dec's scan to the Feb scan, not the Aug scan.  In Sept, I gave the written report to the oncologist, and was not asked to provide the disc)

So I do not really have new lesions -- they were there in August!
Furthermore, the report from August show that there was ascites, which is fluid collecting in the
   abdominal cavity, which has cancerous cells in it, and there is none on the December report!!!
Woohoo!!!

These Docs look at the information in a different way than Western medicine does!  I wish more people knew that there were other ways of attacking health problems!
Sorry - I'll quit preaching'! LOL

They want me to continue the xeloda because my collection of protocols appears to be working! The cancerous activity is being depressed!  They said to continue to add in very, very slowly the protocols as they suggested, removing any that cause gastric distress.

Praise God for this good report!  I am so thankful for Oasis of Hope and their observations -- Vastly different than my oncologist!

"Call upon my in the day of trouble --
    I will deliver you and you will honor me!"
    Ps 50:15

I am so thankful that God has granted me this good news!  A miracle from Him!

True confessions - this helps so much to calm the fretting, because the area under my right lower rib cage is progressively more uncomfortable.  I cannot sleep on my right side and when I laugh, cough, sneeze or just breath wrong, there is a sharp twinge.  This of course brings memories of last Christmas with the pain escalating....Fear is powerful...  

I need to simply keep my eyes focused on God and not on the pain --
    to rejoice in the gift of each day
    to be thankful in all things...
    and of course keep my mouth shut when it comes to
       Christmas cookies, candy, cheese and sausage - shrimp, stollen, crackers and wine....
       oh so very difficult!!!
Perhaps the pain in the ribs is really a blessing from God to help me in this!!!

If only "simply" were really that simple!  It is an exercise in focus that I must work on every hour-- sometimes every 5 minutes!   But anything worth having is worth effort and this is growing my reliance on God's strength, cause I can't resist all these yummy things without his help!!

Thank you so much for continuing to check in on me in this very busy season -- I am humbled and teary eyed when we see how many people have checked in!  Thank you for your love and prayers!  It boggles my mind that y'all keep loving and caring!  Truly, y'all are a gift from God!  May he bless you richly this Christmas~

Thanks for checkin' in!

PET Scan Results ...

PET went smoothly - very peaceful - no claustrophobia or panics - dozed through part of it --
  Thanks for the prayers that brought such peace! 
  It is disheartening to have them bring out the injection in a heavy leaden box and have the 
  syringe be inside of a metal jacket and see the "caution-biohazard" signs all over it!  Yuck!

During the scan, it dawned on me that I could get my records prior to my oncology appointment today.  After weighing everything,  I did go pick them up and take them to my integrative Dr. and overnighted them to my Oasis of Hope doctors.  Our fabulous postal service still had not gotten the disc delivered as of today at 4:45 when it was to be there at noon on Friday!  Unbelievable!  

Because of this ineptitude, I am still waiting to hear a final opinion from Oasis -- and they are the only Doc's that have my February, August and December PET scans. 
However 
Here is what what my integrative doc said -
 -- there are some new lesions - that's bad
 -- the old tumor from 1 year ago had glowed at 8.+ in Jan and now is at 3.+ - that's good!
    especially in view of how sick I was all Summer and into October!  
Bottom Line - "You are in a war.  You have taken shelling, but you have pushed back the enemy"  "Your body is responding well in some places and not so much in others, but there are signs that something is working." 

Oasis of Hope said the same thing based on the written report, which we e-mailed.  I will have a phone consultation tomorrow after they look at the images and compare them all.  
  
I am profoundly thankful for these men because I would have been really discouraged by my oncologist comments otherwise.  
Here is what my oncologist said (no she does not look at the scans - she goes completely off the radiological report) 
--the cancer has progressed - you have new lesions
-- the low dose chemo is not working
--you need to start folfiri to keep this in check
--I'm trying to buy you time with your family and friends
--there is better quality of life with chemo than without.....

When I asked her about the decrease in the glowing from 8 to 3, she did not have an answer - she said she did not have that information - which I read in the report when I picked it up.....

As she spoke, I could feel my positive attitude being sucked out of me and feel the sadness creeping up. The thought that came to me is Proverbs 18:21 that talks about life and death are in the power of the tongue.  I walked out feeling like I would be dead in 6 mos, with no energy to fight and wanting to scream -- which is completely different than how I felt when talking to my other doctors, even tho their news was not great.  

How many people, myself included last time, are given this negative spin by their well-meaning oncologists and have these negative words play over and over in their heads?  How does that contribute at all to the healing process?  
Yes it is good to know where you stand, but I was given a charm of a bumble bee by a friend.  The explanation that came with it goes like this:
"According to the laws of aerodynamics the bumble bee cannot fly; It's body is too heavy for its wings and that the simple reason why.  
But
the bumble bee does not know this fact, and so it flies anyway for all to see.
Remember this when you're losing faith or hope God's proof that the impossible can be."
This was written by A.S. Waldrop.

The mind is so powerful....I would much rather fly than die! 

Thank you so much for your love and prayers.  This has been a really trying time and we so appreciate you thinking of us at this busy time of year.  

PET scan Tues, 13th at 2:30 PST -

Side effects are not fun - tingly hands, feet -poor fine motor skills :(
but very thankful for:
   Feeling good
   Weight holding  
   Energy holding

Praying that tomorrow's scan shows that the cancer shrunk! 
Praying that I am not fearful!

No results until the 20th when I have an appointment with the oncologist -- unless they call me to come in earlier....praying that does not happen!

Thank you for the many, many prayers!  I feel like a living miracle - maybe tomorrow will prove that I am one!  

https://youtu.be/PAmh3yvmzXs
 
        Thy will be done Lord!

Feel like a Miracle

Pet scheduled for 12/13 at 2:30 - prayers appreciated that nothing lights up - Thank you!
Feeling good - energy a little more steady
Weight holding - actually cut out the shakes cause I don't need the calories  
Bloodwork good
Side effects are not fun!
Eating clean (organic) animal protein about 14 meals a week - 
   doing some gluten cause it does not seem to make a huge difference
Still craving sugar - but probably will my whole life!
Having lots of cinnamon to combat the sugar
Having curcumin and pepper to enhance the chemo
Trying to get back into a walking routine - rough after being a couch potato for so long!  
Struggling with being off my ADD meds and time management - oh so hard!

2 weeks ago, a friend told me to thank God for my healing.  I have been pondering this, since I am still able to feel the tumor in my belly, and I don't want to be pollyanna and get my hopes up too high.   Her point was to be positive and thank God for what he has already done.  As I thought about that, it really hit me how far I have come in terms of how I feel.  I was blessed to be able to attend the Lancer Ladies Brunch and bring guests to both Christmas at the Nechita performances over the weekend.  Today I am pooped - but not completely wiped out!  One person yesterday said I had a bounce in my step!
It was wonderful to get to see so many people that I have not seen in a long time.  Had some extra special hugs from some of the students, as well as some great conversation...
Several recurring themes were people praying for me, glad to see me and that I look great :) Praying I look as great on the PET as people say!

In thinking back to 10/5 when I had no strength to get out of bed, and friends helped with laundry and cleaning and I was considering canceling my trip, or going in a wheelchair, it is shocking how different I am now. 
Yes, I believe in miracles - and I feel like a miracle -- 
Praying that next Tues will provide proof of my miracle.....

The other recurring theme is the extreme pain that is all around us---
There are so many heartbreakings stories or situations that need lots of prayers - a young girl with an inoperable brain tumor -- a long awaited kidney transplant to be successful- and the family of the donor!-- more friends with cancer - friends who have gone to heaven after battles with cancer-- a spouse of 30+ years walking out- widows and widowers who never get over the loss of their love.  

Please open your hearts to those around you...be aware of the pain in their lives.  While in line returning something early one morning, I noticed a woman at another check out station and I could see by the way she stood (arms crossed tightly), how she spoke (sharply), the set of her mouth and the hardness of her eyes that she had some hardship going on in her life. Praying silently for her and the poor clerk dealing with her, I wished everyone in the vicinity a merry Christmas and smiled at her.  She probably thought I was nuts- but oh well! 
We are so attached to our phones and our busyness, that we do not notice people.  You have the ability to make someone's journey lighter by noticing their pain/sadness/rough day and being kind.  Isn't that what we are supposed to do - be like Jesus?  Eye contact, smiling or opening a door for someone who has their hands full makes a difference!! Lets dispel the notion that Christians are just a bunch of judgmental hypocrites and smile, be kind and help people!! If we all did this - what a difference it would make!  

Thank you for your prayers - I am sure they are why I am doing so well!  There is proof for that - when I was on chemo last time - I weathered it better than any of my Doc's other patients...

Thanks for checkin in! Y'all are a blessing!

Thankful...

For all the birthday greetings - thank you for thinking of me! 
For your ongoing prayers 
That I was strong enough to go to a conference with Todd before thanksgiving and visit with some friends
     Went to several receptions and stood for hours talking to people --
     2 months ago, I could barely stand 15 minutes!
For organic turkey and a fairly "normal" thanksgiving dinner 
     (really missed the mashed potatos and the pumpkin pie needs working on!)
That tho I am having side effects from the low dose chemo, my gut is ok
For the challenges of side effects - they make me appreciate what I can do!
That this year will be better than last year --
That my weight is holding
For rain! Love the rain! It was wonderful!
For cool temperatures - winter in SoCal!
For the anticipation of family coming
For a fireplace when the heat goes out 
For a quick and easy fix to the heat problem and the technician to do it!
For a good book to lose myself in
For the administrators at my doctors offices helping me to sort out insurance snafus
For the customer service reps at my insurance company helping me with willing attitudes, 
    and advocating for me, above and beyond what they had to do
For the quiet peace of Advent
For the energy to do some organizing
For my oncologist agreeing to a PET scan in December!
  Praying the scan shows the cancer dwindling down!

Many people wrote much about being thankful over the weekend-- 
The one that jumped out at me the most was something to the effect of -- 
What if God took away the things that you forgot to thank Him for?  
Waking up? Seeing? Breathing? Joints that work? Your close relationships? Your special gifts that make you? Balance to not fall over or run into things and be able to carry things? Coordination to be able to open a bottle, clasp a necklace or bracelet - to walk and drive? A soft pillow in a warm house? Clean water? A friend to play a game with or call? The comfort of a favorite bible verse or hymn?  The sweet smell of the air after rain? The peace of rain on the roof? The beauty of a blossom? The comfort of a sheltering hug?

From Col 2:6-8 So then....continue to live your lives in him.....overflowing with thankfulness.

Thankfulness leads you into "praying without ceasing" and into praising him - the sure antidote to sadness/depression/fear.  Hopefully you can carry the thankful spirit into this crazy hectic Advent/Christmas season.  It will help you to keep the main thing, the main thing! It will also help you to not become overwhelmed.  (I'm preaching myself a sermon here too! I know this is easier said than done - but the effort takes you in a better direction!)

Thanks for checkin' in - Thankful for each of you!  

Decisions, Decisions

After much prayerful thought, we decided to not to the kidney test (cystogram) 

Stent removed Monday

We also decided to wait and see what the scan shows before doing anything about my hernia.

Starting to get side effects from the low dose chemo :( tingly clumsy hands - foggy thinking - tired

Energy is ok but sporadic

Weight holding

Self discipline is marginal regarding doing the protocols

Added in my second supplement from Oasis of Hope yesterday - definitely does not agree with me! 

Blessings -

Oncologist ordered second round of low dose chemo so insurance buys! (bought first round from Oasis of Hope)

Airline refunded ticket from flight home this Summer

Got a credit from the insurance company for my chiropractor visits - 

Able to get out more (hard to not over do it) but it keeps me from being depressed

Many people praying for me - thank you so much!

Encouraging cards - notes

Beautiful weather

Fun theater date with Todd to see a dance troupe

Finding new foods I can eat that do not require hours of chopping etc.

A new year 

I have not written much because we are in a kind of plateau stage.  Nothing is really happening - 

trying to get some domestic things done - not very successfully

trying to keep up with protocols - not very well

trying not to be crabby about my food

trying not to dwell on the Christmas cookies and yummy food we usually have that I should not have

     It's all very trying - hahaha

It's just a continuing, waiting time - waiting til my scan to see what is happening inside. 

We are praying that the low dose chemo is killing all the cancer cells, and that it will not have the effect of making the cancer stem cells more aggressive.  

The base drug in the low dose chemo I am on has been shown to do in the past.  

(What I am on now, xeloda, has 5Fu as the base drug   

which is the basis of what I was on in 2011, Folfox and 

the basis of the full strength chemo my oncologist wants to put me on now, Folfiri)

This has helped a lot! Hope it blesses you!

https://youtu.be/f8TkUMJtK5k

A friend gave me a beautiful quote from Corrie Ten Boom - 

"When we are powerless to do a thing, it is a great joy that we can come and step inside the ability of Jesus."

I am so thankful for this...

Thankful for you and all the prayers you send up for me

Thankful for God's comforting word

Thankful for the many blessings showered on us

Up and down

Not much new to report-

Had one doc apt that went well - My eyes have not changed --LOL!  

     Gotta be thankful about all the little things! 

Dentist said my change in diet caused a change in my mouth - more plaque :( 

     Will get cleaned more often but insurance will not participate :(

     Thankful I have insurance that covers any of it though! 

Began my new antibiotic, and as before, feeling pretty crumby

     This is more like flue than sinus --  body aches, hot/cold and tired

     Should be done with this soon I hope
Had gastric upheaval with the switch to the new antibiotic -[now settled down -relatively]

Tolerating full strength chemo and the synergistic supplement fairly well

    This is the first protocol from Oasis of Hope I have been able to add back in!
Weight holding - Energy up and down

Thankful I felt good last weekend when lots was going on and that it's quiet this weekend

Sometimes there is just not a lot to report.  It was a quiet week.  We enjoyed the World Series and the celebrations!! Great fun!  I kinda figure that if the miracle of the Cubs winning the World Series can happen, why could I not be healed?  What's one more miracle for an all powerful God?  I am certainly praying so anyway!  

Along that same vein, I have been fighting fear that I'm not doing more of the protocols that Oasis of Hope laid out.  Though I tell myself/God that I trust Him -- I have to re-say it often!!! even when I don't feel it!  Multiple times a day!  It is so hard to trust and not know!

A great joy this upcoming week - our grand daughter turns 2 years old -- not sure where 2 years went! Thankful for this lively, fun little whirlwind of activity!  She is a distraction and also great medicine!  

After last week's post, I continue to be made aware of so many who have it so much worse than I do....Thank you for taking time out of your busy schedule to pray for me when there are so many others that need it also!!  I am honored!  Each time I hear that someone is praying for me - it makes me cry....Thank you!!

Ps 56 has some nuggets that resonate with me and maybe will bless you as well--
In God, whose word I praise, 
In God I trust; I shall not be afraid (even if I have to say it over & over to feel brave) 
What can man do to me?.....   (actually, it's not man so much as my body failing me)
You have kept count of my tossings; (so many of them - and God counted them? Wow!)
put my tears in your bottle -  (can't grasp the idea of God storing my tears up)
are they not in your book?
......This I know, that God is for me.  (Yes He is - even if I do not see it!)
In God whose word I praise, 
the Lord, whose word I praise 
in God I trust; I shall not be afraid.....
     (Can't help but notice the refrain of praise!  Gotta do that more!)

Thankful for 
Cubs win!
Good doctors
Cooler weather
Our little Sweet Pea's birthday
Many God conversations
Safe travel for loved ones
Knowing that this feeling yucky will end
Energy to walk a little bit
Protection from the devil's attacks
Seeing how the power of prayer really is so powerful
All of you - Thanks for checking in!

Thankful!

Antibiotic bacterial die is as he said - cold/fluey symptoms -now just yucky cold
Energy up a little
Weight holding
Not enough energy to walk much - gotta get on that!
Pancreatic enzymes seem to be working pretty well - diarrhea is better than it has been
Began full strength low dose chemo - tolerating it pretty well - Thankful!!
Searching out organic and gluten free products is challenging - still get overwhelmed!
Continuing to have more animal protein in my diet - trying to still keep my vegetables at 75%
  of my diet - it's hard!
Still craving pizza

Have been pretty sick for a few days with the bacterial die off symptoms of a sinus/cold gross icky-ness.  That started to get better on Sunday and now is just a cold that keeps Todd up at night as I snore - poor man!  

Thankful to be tolerating the xeloda (low dose chemo) full strength - 
  hoping to add in the synergistic supplement tomorrow
  hoping that does not trigger the diarrhea again 

So thankful to have had the energy to make 3 performances of OLu's Beauty and the Beast!  It was great fun to take friends with small children and watch them enjoy the show!  The talent of the kids and the beautiful execution just amaze me!  This was great medicine for me!  

My nutritionist told me of a new sweetener called monk fruit drops -- if you are looking to cut your sugar intake, try them!  They are not cheap - but real food is not!  Also If you are trying to cut blood sugar, put cinnamon on anything you can -- it lowers blood sugar.  There is your fun fact for the day!  

Thankful for a Cubs win (whew!) I'm not supposed to be stressed - hahaha
Thankful for the little bit of drizzle we have had
Thankful for my contractor who installed my reverse osmosis system for me! 
Thankful for all I can eat - trying not to dwell on cookies and cheesecake :)
Thankful for Be Well Kitchen that delivers gluten free healthy food for me and 
   thankful for the friends that made that happen!  

As I become discontented, or think about complaining, I look around me at what other people are dealing with - and it shuts me up really quickly!  
-a brother with brain cancer
-a daughter with thyroid cancer
-students parents dying - teen years are hard to lose a parent...
-a toddler son diagnosed with autism
-a father struggling with losing his autonomy
-a baby in the NICU
-spiritual warfare against an influential young man
-widowed shut in in chronic pain - very alone
-a struggling marriage - 
-lack of a job for a young man with lots of talent and great work ethic
-a father in ICU with a brain tumor
-friends grieving the death of another friend my age...
-bipolar mother with chronic pain and a young daughter fighting cancerous cells that keep
   popping up



My grandfather used to say, "Alles steht fest in Gottes Hende"  -  
       Everything stands firmly in God's hands...
Yes it does, but that does not mean it is easy!    

Thankful for God's word that gives me strength - for scriptures that come back to me when I need them like Isaiah 40:30, 31

Continuing to pray for healing - 
Thankful for all the sweet notes and surprises! They lift my spirits so much!
Thankful for all those praying with me!
Thanks for checkin' in!  Y'all are a blessing!  

Answers at Last

Met with the Integrative Doc who said that my stool samples revealed the following:
-3 bacterial infections (Not 1, not 2, 3!  I'm special!)
-pancreatic dysfunction which contributes to the diarrhea
-gluten sensitivity
-yeast overgrowth (again)
-blood in the stool (probably as a result of the infections)
-low thyroid function
- compromised immune system (natural killer cells are way down, probably due to lack of 
  nutrients because pancreas is not processing food properly)
-low iron (may have mentioned this already)

As a result, I am now on: 
-antibiotics-2 10 day rounds, one after another, of 2 different ones against the infections
  He did say that I would feel yucky for a few days as the bacteria gets killed off!  It is so nice
  to know that ahead of time so that I will not wonder if I am sliding back into the abyss of 
  weakness or if the cancer is winning!!! This will happen with both antibiotics.  
-enzymes to bolster the poor output from my pancreas
-naturethroid for my thyroid
-probiotics and a good yeast
-iron supplements
Sunday I will start back with the xeloda (low dose chemo) for 2 weeks and try to get up to 
  full dose
He thought that my weight gain was probably internal edema caused by the infections since my waist is bloated and puffy - I can pinch an inch :)

In an effort to curb the diarrhea, he had me add in bananas, rice, applesauce and toast to my diet, but I am in a quandary because, bananas are loaded with sugar which feeds yeast (both good and bad) and cancer.  Rice is gluten free according to some - inflammatory according to others. Applesauce has the sugar factor and toast tho gluten free has the sugar factor.  My head spins with what I am supposed to eat - and I continue to crave pizza, which is not helpful!  

It is all a bit daunting.  Thankfully, the integrative doc did not think that this would have a big impact on my cancer prognosis.  We "just" have to get my body to process the food properly so that I get the nutrients I need to get better- easier said than done!  My time off of my strict "no gluten, no dairy, no sugar, organic" diet was a very nice vacation- now it is back to reality- but it is a reality with more protein at least!

What is so interesting to me is that we met with my oncologist the day before (we did not have the stool sample results yet) but she said my iron was fine (we asked specifically about that) and she never mentioned my thyroid or my immune system-very different ways of looking at things.  
On another note, she will require me to finish 3 rounds of xeloda before ordering a scan.  Oasis of Hope just wanted 2 rounds completed - though I did the last one at 1/2 strength.
This will put off the timing of my scan from end of November to probably mid December or so. 

Sidelight - you may wonder how I got results so fast if Quest lost my samples -- Well, Quest decided to play post office and mail my samples to Diagnos Techs - another lab.  They did this without calling my doctor or me and evidently without noting it in the file since 3 different people were unable to give the same answer.  Wondering how they can do that with hippa - 
and it cost me a ton out of pocket to get the results!  I am trying to find out how to contact Quest- as a patient, they don't answer when I call, tho my docs can get through!  The saga continues! And I am supposed to not be under stress  - HA! LOL

Lots of info here -- I am thankful to know this and now have to dig deep for the self control to not cheat and to genuinely chose the foods that will help me live life healthy.  

So thankful for: 

Light at the end of the tunnel
My integrative doc - who prays with me and 
  looks at trends and all the results
Office staff at all my doc's offices 
  that help me get answers
Cubs win :)
Soaking rain, thunder and lightening -
  Yippee!!
Technology that lets me pray with and 
  encourage my peeps across the continent
  and "talk" with family and friends
Scripture that is always there to go to - 
   that has answers.
You hanging' with us and cheering us on 
Your prayers lifting and strengthening us
  and finding lost stool samples- lol!
The sweet cards and notes encouraging us!  
   What a blessing!

Gen 12:2 "I will bless you and you will be a blessing!"

Thanks for checkin' in! Y'all bless us!!

  

Blessed and Thankful

So sorry for the long long hiatus!  That tells you how awful I had felt!  

Then you didn't hear from me because I/we were gone on vacation and I was living life!

However, now I feel the best I have in a long time! Thanks for all the many prayers and 

  notes of encouragement!

Was strong enough to make it to NC for a family reunion and visit with great friends--

     great medicine!

Shift in diet (added BRAT) and increased animal protein has put a few pounds on me - YAY!

Hernia surgeon says he can/will do the surgery whenever I want it --  

    but at what cost to my energy/system/healing?

Quest Diagnostics lost my poop test -- argh - back to square 1 for diarrhea answers

Began iron supplements due to low iron - They did not lose my bloodwork!!

Diarrhea is better - trying to figure out what foods may be triggers -- 

    like food was not enough of a challenge before!

Still need to take naps and rest - 

Still flame out quickly- but getting to be a bit longer between times

Saddened to hear of the death of one of the patients that was at Oasis with us....

   Life is fleeting!

That's the highlights -- 

This is short and sweet because I am pooped!  Jet Lag! 

but wanted to thank y'all so much for all the prayers and encouragement. I firmly believe that I was able to make this trip and feel so much better because of all your prayers!  It was such a blessing to be with the boys and our little grand daughter --especially for her to meet her great-grandma!!-- to watch Todd play with her --to be with dear friends that we have years of memories with! Profoundly thankful!

I fought the thoughts of "when will I see them again?" and "will I be able to do this again?" as well as

"will this change in diet jeopardize what I have done already?" and

"was this wise to do?" 

It is an on-going battle....  

I continue to trust God even when I am scared, when doubts creep in and when the devil attacks -- but it is hard.  

Just saying the words - "I trust you" over and over helps - even when I don't feel it - it really does help!  

This song helps me also - tho I am not there yet - I keep singing it praying the feeling comes with repetition - 

https://youtu.be/f8TkUMJtK5k

   I am no longer a slave to fear.  I am a child of God.....

Thankful to have had no pain of any kind (continuous hernia belt seems to be working)

Thankful to have walked most days - about 2 3/4 miles - sometimes more

Thankful for safe, smooth travel for our whole family

Thankful for our OLu family-

Thankful to have made it to OLu's Beauty and the Beast production and dinner!  Big Day!

Thankful for all of you....

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for lifting me up for healing and strength -- It was such a gift to be able to make this trip -- Thank you seems so inadequate -- but I know no other way to say it!  Thank you for blessing us!  

Rough Week - Thanks for carrying us!

Thankful for prayers in response to FB and last post - energy is better -appetite too!
Was very weak - electrolyte imbalance 
Stopped all supplements for a week - will only take low dose chemo 1/2 dose starting Sun 
    and work up to full strength 
Urologist says renal function virtually gone 
Discontinued the pain patch due to emotional fallout
Haven't taken hardly any pain meds since Tues
Hernia pain has hit super hard 4 times now - talking to surgeon next Tues

Learned that diarrhea causes electrolyte imbalances and even taking the electrolyte drink was not enough -- I sank into a lethargic fog.  During this time is when I had some really tough emotional times that included screaming and weeping - lots of fear.  Was not sure if I would ever have strength again.  I reached out to a few people asking for prayer in this battle. I am so thankful to say that between their prayers and scripture, they carried me thru the darkest hours. I was reminded that I need to trust God, even when I have no clue what is going on and believe that He loves me, is for me, goes before me and comes behind me.  "Just" trust....easier said than done!  For me, it involved a lot of saying "I trust you" even when I did not feel it - and the feeling came...
That evening, my sweetheart reminded me to drink coconut water to balance my electrolytes - which is what turned the corner.  By now (Friday evening) the homeopathic diarrhea medication from my nutritionist is working well.  For the inquiring minds, I find it works better than the leading OTC anti diarrheal med.  It is called BHI and the sugar free electrolyte mixture is called Jigsaw.  

Consensus of Doctors is that I am to discontinue supplements completely for 2.5 weeks in an effort to control the diarrhea and gain some weight and strength back.  I need to be strong enough to fight this battle - now I am just fighting to keep calories - not what the main focus should be.  Praying that everything we did in Mexico is enough to keep this beast from growing!

Thanks for praying for my energy and my appetite and nausea- God heard and I am hungry and able to eat!

Do not like the news from the urologist, but when asked what he would do for his wife, he replied that I had such little kidney function, that it would not be worth the stress on my body to re-stent and then have to maintain it by changing it every 3 mos.  As I sat in his office, weary, I felt that these were wise words....

Tues I discontinued the Fentanyl patch because of the emotional effects - making me cry all the time and have no self discipline to do anything at all.  It was awful - I had no pain, but was not Christine either! It is completely out of my system since noon today and I have only taken 1 pain killer each evening - and tonight will try none.  Very thankful there is no pain- thinking it is because the kidney is virtually dead.  

Things to be thankful for --
If you did not read my last blog post, please do so.  My husband is the best.  I could NOT 
  fight this fight without him.  He keeps me anchored and focused on God when I am lost in 
  a maelstrom of emotion- He helps me prepare for each Doc mtg and deal with 
  bills/papers/ingredients and whatever is overwhelming me at the time!  
Thankful for his birthday today, the amazing support for him, and a CUBS win!!! 
Medicine to help when feeling awful...
Clean water
Jesus Calling and other devotionals to speak truth to me
Oasis of Hope Doctor who goes through all my numerous e-mail questions, listening
    carefully and taking my individual history into account
Getting in with a hernia surgeon in 1 week for a consult - miracle!!
Great neighbors to chat with or walk with when I feel good enough
Books like "loving God with all your mind" to grow me and guide me how to fight
Friends who help me with whatever - sharing tears, errands, walking, cleaning, food  ideas
  Each one such a blessing! 
Scripture which God calls to my mind to comfort me
All of you who beat heaven's gates on my behalf! Thank you for waging war!  Thank you!   

Prayer Requests
that I can get strong enough to travel to see my family in a few days
that this downhill weight/health slide stop -please God!!!
blessings on Todd's new year!

This song carried me through many dark hours - may it bless you!
https://youtu.be/n_aVFVveJNs
"I will trust, I will trust, I will trust in you!"

Thanks for your prayers and for checkin' in!