Rough Week - Thanks for carrying us!

Thankful for prayers in response to FB and last post - energy is better -appetite too!
Was very weak - electrolyte imbalance 
Stopped all supplements for a week - will only take low dose chemo 1/2 dose starting Sun 
    and work up to full strength 
Urologist says renal function virtually gone 
Discontinued the pain patch due to emotional fallout
Haven't taken hardly any pain meds since Tues
Hernia pain has hit super hard 4 times now - talking to surgeon next Tues

Learned that diarrhea causes electrolyte imbalances and even taking the electrolyte drink was not enough -- I sank into a lethargic fog.  During this time is when I had some really tough emotional times that included screaming and weeping - lots of fear.  Was not sure if I would ever have strength again.  I reached out to a few people asking for prayer in this battle. I am so thankful to say that between their prayers and scripture, they carried me thru the darkest hours. I was reminded that I need to trust God, even when I have no clue what is going on and believe that He loves me, is for me, goes before me and comes behind me.  "Just" trust....easier said than done!  For me, it involved a lot of saying "I trust you" even when I did not feel it - and the feeling came...
That evening, my sweetheart reminded me to drink coconut water to balance my electrolytes - which is what turned the corner.  By now (Friday evening) the homeopathic diarrhea medication from my nutritionist is working well.  For the inquiring minds, I find it works better than the leading OTC anti diarrheal med.  It is called BHI and the sugar free electrolyte mixture is called Jigsaw.  

Consensus of Doctors is that I am to discontinue supplements completely for 2.5 weeks in an effort to control the diarrhea and gain some weight and strength back.  I need to be strong enough to fight this battle - now I am just fighting to keep calories - not what the main focus should be.  Praying that everything we did in Mexico is enough to keep this beast from growing!

Thanks for praying for my energy and my appetite and nausea- God heard and I am hungry and able to eat!

Do not like the news from the urologist, but when asked what he would do for his wife, he replied that I had such little kidney function, that it would not be worth the stress on my body to re-stent and then have to maintain it by changing it every 3 mos.  As I sat in his office, weary, I felt that these were wise words....

Tues I discontinued the Fentanyl patch because of the emotional effects - making me cry all the time and have no self discipline to do anything at all.  It was awful - I had no pain, but was not Christine either! It is completely out of my system since noon today and I have only taken 1 pain killer each evening - and tonight will try none.  Very thankful there is no pain- thinking it is because the kidney is virtually dead.  

Things to be thankful for --
If you did not read my last blog post, please do so.  My husband is the best.  I could NOT 
  fight this fight without him.  He keeps me anchored and focused on God when I am lost in 
  a maelstrom of emotion- He helps me prepare for each Doc mtg and deal with 
  bills/papers/ingredients and whatever is overwhelming me at the time!  
Thankful for his birthday today, the amazing support for him, and a CUBS win!!! 
Medicine to help when feeling awful...
Clean water
Jesus Calling and other devotionals to speak truth to me
Oasis of Hope Doctor who goes through all my numerous e-mail questions, listening
    carefully and taking my individual history into account
Getting in with a hernia surgeon in 1 week for a consult - miracle!!
Great neighbors to chat with or walk with when I feel good enough
Books like "loving God with all your mind" to grow me and guide me how to fight
Friends who help me with whatever - sharing tears, errands, walking, cleaning, food  ideas
  Each one such a blessing! 
Scripture which God calls to my mind to comfort me
All of you who beat heaven's gates on my behalf! Thank you for waging war!  Thank you!   

Prayer Requests
that I can get strong enough to travel to see my family in a few days
that this downhill weight/health slide stop -please God!!!
blessings on Todd's new year!

This song carried me through many dark hours - may it bless you!
https://youtu.be/n_aVFVveJNs
"I will trust, I will trust, I will trust in you!"

Thanks for your prayers and for checkin' in!