Complicated

Continuing to push - weakly during the past week, but a little stronger now

Trying to build consensus between doctors

It's getting old...

Tumors Shrinking maybe? or pain patch working better  

Trip to look forward to-praying I get stronger to play with my family
Went back to cold laser therapy to work on my blood

Thankful for Todd who never fails.

You know the old saying - too many cooks in the kitchen spoil the broth?

My diarrhea had returned with a vengeance last week and I had the joy of bringing consensus between my integrative doc, my oncologist and Oasis of Hope....It's challenging to say the least!  They all say to do different things.  I have to sift out what to do in between running for the bathroom.  I must be tired because usually this doesn't seem like such a big deal....

One big praise that I am cautiously optimistic about is that I was unable to lie on my left side at all when I went to Oasis of Hope.  After doing the protocols and the frankincense I am able to lie on my left side for several hours with no pain!  That is huge!  I am praying that it is because the tumors have shrunk -- Please Lord let it be!

Another big praise is that we are having a family reunion in mid October which is so nice to look forward to.  Today I have no clue how I could get on a plane - let alone several planes in one day - but God will grant me the grace I need the day I need it - not before.  

Went back to cold laser therapy to try and get my blood unsticky.  I am so thankful for this practitioner because he uses the lasers in a different fashion than most people use them.  He figures out frequencies that work on all kinds of things and help with energy, mood, adrenals, healing - all kinds of things that sound kinda "out there" because they are not common.  Praying that his work will help me to get better

While walking (slogging along is more the correct term) we ran into a friend who  had not known about my blog and had gone recently to check out how I was doing and had been really depressed /sad-- I get that -  sorry the news is not great--I try to frame things positively, but my fear peaks through as my weakness rises -- and other than yay for God providing daily for my, it's not very pretty.  

I am especially thankful for Todd who works hard at work, giving his best and yet comes home to my various moods and situations and never fails to rise to the occasion - whatever that may be, doing  it with humor and joy and a silly style all his own that lifts any gloom that may be hanging around.  He really works hard to live as Jesus would ask us to - (no he is not perfect - but he sure is pretty awesome!!!)
if it's dirty, he cleans it - 
if it needs cooking, he makes it - 
if we need it from the store, he gets it - 
if we need to order it online, he takes care of it -
if I'm crabby, he is silly and makes me laugh - 
if I'm crying he hands tissues and comforts me and then makes me laugh - 
if it needs to be decided, he helps me analyze it, pray about it and we decide - 
if some new symptom pops up, he try to make light of it for me while still watching it

if I am too tired to think straight, he gently guides me to wise choices-

if I am fearful, he reads scripture, while never showing his fear
if I hurt, he prays....

     I am blessed - so blessed and thank God every day for Todd - 
His birthday is this weekend - looking forward to celebrating a bit!

Thankfulness keeps everything managable for me particularly when there is so much that is not going well.  I am thankful for the small glimpses of joy/blessing that I do see --like:

friends who go read my blog and pray for me
petting my friend's dog 

my sweet husband 
friends who come to visit and make me laugh and distract me

funny videos that make me laugh (love it when you send em!)

cooler temps to make staying in bed more comfortable
medicine to curb the icky symptoms
his word to whisper to myself when pain or fear rise starkly

Prayer requests please:
that my appetite/thirst return as well as some energy  
that my mind be protected from fear 
that Todd have strength to continue all that he does
that I can resume the protocols that I had to stop because of diarrhea -- those that kill cancer cells

Thanks for checkin in