Tuesday, February 21, 2017

Keeping On

Tweeked protocols - 
   reduced Laetril to 3/day, 
   reduced Modified Citrus Pectin to 1.5 tsp 1 x day
   fairly successful with reducing animal protein to 1 x day
Strength returning
Scary to feel better doing less protocols....
   can't help wonder if I am shortening my life by increasing the quality of life....
walking more -  2-3.5 miles sometimes -- sometimes just a mile
Weight steady
Napping less - down to an hour(ish) in the morning or in the afternoon most days
Sleep is fairly good
Stepping up the use of essential oils to fight the beast
Saw new doc for IV Vit C infusion - 
   first infusion tomorrow
   discovered on his website he does similar injections to what they did at oasis of hope!
   Immunotherapy!  I am hopeful for this door opening
Wondering if I am supposed to change my integrative, "quarterback" doctor since he has moved further away (40 min is not a huge drive, but when you are not feeling good, it is a lot and can turn into a snarly mess) He is the one who looks at everything and guides me. 
  Praying for wisdom about that. 
Have several friends that have come/are coming to stay with us - nice distraction!

Had several lovely conversations with friends recently- 
One said, " I am so overwhelmed when I read you blog.  I just want God to fix this but there is nothing I can DO! What can I do?  I just  keep asking God to heal you!"  
I hugged her and said, " Thank you -- that is what I need!  That IS doing something!"

Had to laugh at her overwhelmed comment -- I try to keep it simple here -- Imagine how overwhelmed I am!  Thank goodness God always guides me!

Another friend, a teacher, said that she reads my blog and reports to the kids and guides them how to pray for me.  (Can't really write this without crying --)  She said they had been praying for my strength!  Again - exactly what I needed!  And it's been working -- I have gotten a little stronger! 

As I lie down for my many naps I have been asking God what the heck I am supposed to be learning from all this.  There is no really clear answer, but I find that I am dwelling more on his greatness, his love for me, his provision and his promises.  This is difficult to do since I often am uncomfortable and am falling into the "pity party" mentality.  Mental yo yo ing between trust and thankfulness,  and fear, self pity, frustration and discontent keep my mind in whiplash!  
The fact is that if I am thankful for all the blessings he pours out on me, I cannot be other than thankful for the disappointments as well (not that it is easy)  How can I take the good without taking the "bad?"  Who am I to question?  How can I know? The obvious answer is that I cannot.  

"'Cause what if your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise"  Laura Storey, Blessing
Thankful for
B&B season at the Moritzes 
Doctors who provide information and hopefully healing
God's Guidance 
Cool "wintry" weather
Rising energy/stamina
3 day weekend with Todd
That roof leak was in garage, not house
Family and friends who encourage me - who tell me to never give up
Feeling better so that I can be more positive - less whiplash


Thanks for checkin' in
   reduced Laetril to 3/day, 
   reduced Modified Citrus Pectin to 1.5 tsp 1 x day
   fairly successful with reducing animal protein to 1 x day
Strength returning
Scary to feel better doing less protocols....
   can't help wonder if I am shortening my life by increasing the quality of life....
walking more -  2-3.5 miles sometimes -- sometimes just a mile
Weight steady
Napping less - down to an hour(ish) in the morning or in the afternoon most days
Sleep is fairly good
Stepping up the use of essential oils to fight the beast
Saw new doc for IV Vit C infusion - 
   first infusion tomorrow
   discovered on his website he does the same injections that they did at oasis of hope!
   Immunotherapy!  I am hopeful for this door opening
Wondering if I am supposed to change my integrative, "quarterback" doctor since he has moved further away (40 min is not a huge drive, but when you are not feeling good, it is a lot and can turn into a snarly mess) He is the one who looks at everything and guides me
  Praying for wisdom about that
Have several friends that have come/are coming to stay with us - nice distraction!

Had several lovely conversations with friends recently- 
One said, " I am so overwhelmed when I read you blog.  I just want God to fix this but there is nothing I can DO! What can I do?  I just  keep asking God to heal you!"  
I hugged her and said, " Thank you -- that is what I need!  That IS doing something!"

Had to laugh at her overwhelmed comment -- I try to keep it simple here -- Imagine how overwhelmed I am!  Thank goodness God always guides me!

Another friend, a teacher, said that she reads my blog and reports to the kids and guides them how to pray for me.  (Can't really write this without crying --)  She said they had been praying for my strength!  Again - exactly what I needed!  And it's been working -- I have gotten a little stronger! 

As I lie down for my many naps I have been asking God what the heck I am supposed to be learning from all this.  There is no really clear answer, but I find that I am dwelling more on his greatness, his love for me, his provision and his promises.  This is difficult to do since I often am uncomfortable and am falling into the "pity party" mentality.  Mental yo yo ing between trust and thankfulness,  and fear, self pity, frustration and discontent keep my mind in whiplash!  
The fact is that if I am thankful for all the blessings he pours out on me, I cannot be other than thankful for the disappointments as well (not that it is easy)  How can I take the good without taking the "bad?"  Who am I to question?  How can I know? The obvious answer is that I cannot.  

"'Cause what if your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise"    Laura Storey, -Blessings

Thankful for
B&B season at the Moritzes 
Doctors who provide information and hopefully healing
God's Guidance 
Cool "wintry" weather
Rising energy/stamina
3 day weekend with Todd
That roof leak was in garage, not house
Family and friends who encourage me - who tell me to never give up
Feeling better so that I can be more positive - less whiplash
Keeping up with a busier schedule


Thanks for checkin' in! Ya'll are the best!


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