Fighting side effects

CT scan last Friday - appointment Tues to get results
Digestive issues for the last week  :(
Blessed to spend time with family - the best kind of medicine
Continuing to battle demons of fear and negativity

Nothing like trying to maintain protocols when you are on the road! Fortunately, I was charmingly distracted by our grand-daughter!  
After the CT scan, I got diarrhea that has lasted all week - even waking me up multiple times at night - every night -- and sleep is such an important protocol.......
To try and get that under control, I have systematically removed supplements....Not what I really want to do - but the best option under the circumstances.  My holistic doc recommended which to remove first -- Thankful for his help.  My nutritionist had added in a few things to help with some supplement side effects - and I stopped those also -- trying to get back to even.  My cold laser therapist said that the CT could have knocked my adrenals out, triggering the diarrhea.  Hopefully seeing him Monday will help!

In the spirit of transparency, and so perhaps someone else can gain insight into what cancer patients may struggle with, I will once again venture into total transparency.  

When you take lots of supplements, some of which have the main goal of detoxing -- there are bound to be issues.  One of the issues that nobody really talks about is bad gas.  Well let me tell you -- it is life changing!  As you may guess, not in a good way either!  
We are talking about stomach rolling, gut strangling, growling, rolling, noisy gas that when it finally gets through my system is positively the worst smelling gas you could imagine.  Imagine rotten eggs left for 3 days in a container on the deck in 105 degree heat... that is close to how bad it is.  If I go outside, I have to be careful which way the wind is blowing (no pun intended!)  lest the neighbors report a sewer leak!  If I fart in a room with windows open  on 2 sides and come back into the room 1/2 an hour later-- you can still smell it!  
Now for some - this might be a matter of pride---
As one who never, ever heard her mom fart, and was trained strictly that gas is impolite - this is not easy for me to deal with!  
This started about a month or so ago and made the  tweaking of protocols more necessary as you can imagine, since I am going for quality of life and offending your friends is not good quality!    

So there you go -- a new tidbit for you to think about.  So if you are with a cancer patient and you can hear their stomach growl/roll from across the room - have pity on them!  It is painful and embarassing! 
In addition, it's really hard to know how to tweak the supplements because I am fighting for my life.....Everything I take out means I am not fighting the cancer as strongly -- even tho I may not smell as strongly.....(lol)

Domino effect - this makes the demons of fear attack super hard -- the devil sure knows where to strike! It is so easy to slip into the "what if I am really dying and just kidding myself that everything I've done is making a difference?" 
Trying to keep the visualization of the supplement "pac-men" gobbling up the cancer cells is a struggle when you smell vaguely like a morgue. 

Trying to remind myself that God is my healer - Jehovah Raphah-- that He is all- powerful and he can do immeasurably more than I can ask or imagine.  At the same time, trying to be submissive to his will for my life - no matter what that road is......
It is very difficult to pray consistently - Your will Lord.   It is even more difficult to pray that in the face of my lovely grand-daughter!  I cannot help but wonder how much of her life I will see.  Can you understand the difficulty balancing all of that and praising God in the storm at the same time?  It takes all that I have--but when I am tired i wonder if it is the cancer winning or just weariness from the battle....


Praying for good results on my kidney CT scan
Thankful the weather is good so I can open windows!
Thankful for my wonderful family - for the words of life that they speak 
  "your gonna outlive us all with all this healthy eating" and "we'll just write you a long term 
   care policy in a few more years"
Thankful for God's words of life - My grace is sufficient for you for my power is made perfect in your weakness.

Thankful for all of you checkin' in!