Doctor Update ...

For those of you new to my blog, generally I do two sections-
The first being the facts if you are in a hurry and the second developing the facts and more "so how are you really?" 

My appointment with the urologist was not what I was expecting.  The growth is adjacent to or encapsulating my ureter and a main artery and underneath intestines.  This precludes a simple biopsy - there is no direct shot from the outside in. She said that if it were her, she would have it robotically done, which is better because the cameras can see better than the human eye could.   Surgery to completely remove the lymph nodes is not recommended because of the growth of scar tissue, which would further press on the ureter and because depending on what the biopsy shows, they would probably be shrunk by chemo or radiation.   In addition, I should have a stint placed to relieve the swelling of the kidney.  It would be wise to do these at the same time.  Unfortunately, this urologist does not do robotic surgery....
So, she is going to try and get me in to a urologist who does this - and hopefully she will have some news on a new appointment by the end of the week. 

This means that my meeting w the oncologist next Tuesday will only have the results of the PET scan -- which is a lot, but will not tell me what kind of cancer it is, if it does show up as cancerous.  Today she threw around terms like tumor, growth and lymphoma-- all a little unnerving!  

So how am I doing?  Not so great....
Numb, emotionally drained and exhausted
Wondering if it is cancer, what kind and will I need chemo or radiation, when will I get in to
    see the new doc -- etc. all working together powerfully to erode peace and calm...

I have many things to be thankful for however: 
This doc was kind-- going out of her way to explain and advocate for me
She signed off on me walking!! yay! (I had been restricted prior to this)
My Tuesday morning sisters in the faith prayed over me this morning so lovingly
So many text messages, notes and comments from y'all that I have not even been able to 
     read them all - Thank you!
For every doc that I've gone to that I did not already know, a friend has offered a 
     recommendation - makes walking in easier!
Technology that keeps me closely connected with family and friends.
Beautiful weather to cheer me up
God's grace that carries me even when tired and head-achy and gut-achey
His strength to hold it together when I feel like crying or screaming.
Todd going to the appointments with me.
Beautiful songs that people have sent me --

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tIZitK6_IMQ
  
Thank you for checking in -- Y'all are a blessing to us!

My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in (your) weakness.  2 Cor 12:9