What would you do if you only had a few hours left?

This is Todd again.  I am now writing what I think Christine would want you to know.  Many, many have reached out looking for an update – so here goes.

Pain better; nourishment all but complete; still much discomfort; limited time awake.

Pain is more controlled.  She is on a morphine pump that gives her a continuous IV drip right into her port.  She is able to add to it with the press of a button.  Pain still spikes in the afternoon and becomes quite difficult, but we are able to get on it quicker and settle it down.

Eating is all but done.  Just a bit to chew on or taste here and there.  Water has declined quite a bit too.  With limited oral medicine, not as much drinking is required.

Her stomach continues to be hugely distended.  She says she looks eight months pregnant.  We have tried different medicines with limited help.  Her belly – at 24 inches several weeks ago – is now at 34 ½.  The skin and muscle pressure alone would be miserable – but all her internal organs are being crowded – including the stomach and intestines.  Her feet and ankles are swollen.

Awake and alert time is fleeting.  Two to three hours a day.  Most of her time is spent asleep.  I have brought her out on the couch for several hours a day, but it isn’t as comfortable as the hospital bed.  Body aches are getting worse from limited movement.  She needs help to get out of bed and walk.

So what would you do if you had just a few hours a day?  In the last week I have averaged about one hour a day texting, email and on Facebook.  If I only had a few hours a day, likely that would decline.  Most of Christine’s awake time is with me, a couple of visitors and checking in on some people.

Her phone is going crazy with texts.  Facebook and blog posts are off the chart.  We very much appreciate the love and support – but are having trouble just reading all of them, let alone responding.  She doesn’t check her phone much – but I read all the messages to her.  It still is her lifeline to the world.  Know your love and prayers ARE deeply appreciated.

I (Todd) went in the office for a couple of hours in the mornings and then afternoons for a few days.  I love the ministry God has given me and I am trying to help the team as much as I am able.  But as of late Tuesday night, it was clear that I can no longer do that.  I had scheduled care for Christine everyday 8am to 4pm – but it was too emotionally exhausting for Christine and the care demands are getting more and more complicated.  Clearly the end is quite close (days? Weeks? Who knows – she is a tough cookie!).  Christine would wake up in pain or having to go to the bathroom and was not even sure who was caring for her.  I am glad to be at her side – and yet quite sad.  From a guy who doesn’t cry, tears don’t seem to stop.  I am thankful for technology that allows me to stay in touch with the school and help where I can.

Christine has spent five or ten minutes on the phone or FaceTime every day with our boys.  That has been special.  We have tried to reach out to one other person for a couple of minutes each day – but that is getting harder.  Lots of nurse visits happen.  All in all … the few hours goes very quickly. 

Here is my current view.  She is so beautiful.  Other than super thin, she looks so great.  My heart breaks.

Rejoice in the Lord always, I say it again rejoice.  Let your gentleness be evident to all.  The Lord is near.  Do not be anxious about anything, but with prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your request to God.  And (THEN) the peace of God that transcends all (Human) understanding will guard your heart and mind in Christ Jesus.  Philippians 4.

The Lord is near.  Her time to go see Him seems to comes quickly.  What a heavenly party that will be (Matthew 22:2).

Thanks for checkin’ in.

For Christine …. Todd