PET miracles and thoughts…..

-Oasis of Hope said they need the PET scan results to really be able to tell me how I am doing.  Lots of the level elevations could just be inflammation. 

- Hoping to get my PET results tomorrow, Monday to overnight them to Oasis of Hope

-Tues afternoon, we meet with my oncologist to officially get the results.  Predicting that she will renew her efforts to convince me that IV chemo is the best

-Friday, I meet with my integrative doc to see what he says and have him look at the quality

 of my blood.   

-potassium level back w/in normal range –

-now I have to measure my urine out put to figure out why it dropped  (Life is never dull or boring at the Moritzes!)

- miraculously, the skin on my feet is responding to the cold laser therapy and I do not have blisters yet! (1.5 weeks into the xeloda!) 

-Went to a healing service at St John’s – thankful for the warriors who prayed for us!

-Pain seems slightly better – better living through chemistry!

-A dear friend loaned their dog to us for the weekend – nothing like a furry funny distraction to ease the burden!

Thanks to your prayers:

- I am not crying all day long every day! 

   though I am fragile...

- there is a sense of peace

- I got several little miracles during my PET scan

As many tests are, a Pet is conducted by the patient lying on their back and going in and out of a tube.  A PET takes 24 minutes from the time you go in the tube the first time.  Well, I cannot comfortably lie on my back especially for 24 minutes!!  At cold laser, the table is adjustable and I rest at about a 45 degree angle.  To say I was a bit anxious about how to make it through the scan is an understatement.  After conversation with the technician, I learned that you can be completely anesthetized for the procedure if you truly cannot endure the pain.  However, he listened carefully as I explained that the tumor in the liver area bore down and caused discomfort etc.  This was the best technician I ever had –(some are actually quite callous and un helpful!)  He really listened.  Bottom line, I took extra pain medicine and he propped me up on pillows and folded towels so that my head was almost touching the top of the tube, but I could lie still in relative comfort!!!  That is a miracle – the only position I can lie on for any length of time is my left side! He even counted down the time for me, as that helps me to get through it.

In addition, for the very first time, I asked a friend to go with me and she totally pampered me!  She played had a vase of flowers in the car; praise music while I was being infused; and read a beautiful, tranquil prayer as I started on the test.  There was some scripture and some great conversation that kept me from crying.  (Last time, I had puddles in my ears from crying!)

After we were finished, my tech approached me and said that he had heard her reading scripture to me --- He pulled out his badge/ID holder and it was a beautiful disc with an icthus engraved and “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” on it.  How like God to provide me a Christian tech to encourage me! 

On a different note, some thoughts that have been stewing around in my head go kinda like this….

-       been doing this for a year – without much cheating of any kind

-       it’s cost a fortune

-       am not able to tolerate a lot of the supplements

-       all these protocols take a LOT of energy and time to execute and maintain

-       every outing takes energy to figure out the food

-       my gut pretty much always is uncomfortable –

    feels like my organs are in a metal basket-

    that’s plugged in to electricity!

Not sure this is working at all….

Wondering if maybe I should just cave in and do chemo….

     (would never consider this if had not done it before - but that corrupts the body so badly I

     cannot fight from a "clean" pallet of an un-chemo'd body)

Not that I am excited about this prospect –just wondering if it would be a better option.

I know that I cannot give up fighting – perhaps I would have more energy to fight that way…..

Perhaps the chemo shrinking the tumors would alleviate the pain and my quality of life would be better. (no I have not forgotten about how sick I got –or about the weekly port flushes, or the pump that you wear for 48 hours after infusion…..that I am even thinking about this tells you how lousy I feel)

The statistics between US and Oasis of Hope, for colon cancer are about the same…..(other cancers they do much much better than here in the states – not colon cancer tho ) so not sure this is really making a big dent.

Not saying I’m gonna do this – trying to be transparent and let you know that this is the kind of thing that rolls around in my head when I cannot sleep at night…

On a more thankful note – We have friends that we’ve known a very long time who have not really been Christian – kinda walked away from their faith a long time ago.  Through God’s orchestrating, we have gotten reconnected, have had several deep, long conversations about God, faith, the bible and they are praying for me!!!  As I said last time around, “ If me having cancer is what it takes to get them to pray, I am ok with that!”  There is nothing more precious, energizing and exciting that talking to “new” believers who are super excited and loaded with questions!  It gives me such a sense of purpose which is really important because I have become so limited on what I can actually “do.”  

Also thankful I could play in the dirt for about 1/2 hour today before I totally flamed out 

Thank you so much for the outpouring of kind words, prayers and support!  Obviously this waiting is a grueling time.  So many have sent me scripture verses – Thank you! I will close with some of them as it is the rock to which we cling!

Jeremiah 17:14

Heal me LORD and I will be healed;

save me and I will be saved,

for you are the one that I praise! 

2 Corinthians 12:9-10

But he said to me, “ My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”  Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.  For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities.  For when I am weak, then I am strong. 

   This was my grandparents wedding verse – my grandfather was literally at death’s door having been wounded during world war I – and they lived for many many years despite the “statistics!”

To close with a smile rather than tears, I am posting a picture from our family get away -- notice how our sweet little granddaughter posed looking over her shoulder for me!  Hope it makes you chuckle!  

Thanks for checkin in and for carrying us with your love and prayers...they are the only thing getting us through the tough conversations, days and hours!  You are such a blessing!