Blessings among Disappointments

Not the energy upswing I had hoped
Xeloda probably to blame
Continuing to add supplements s-l-o-w-l-y
Successfully adding an afternoon dose of modified citrus pectin 
     (trying to be happy about it as it causes gas issues)
Hand and foot syndrome (from the xeloda) continues to be a problem...
     Not walking to avoid aggravating my feet more :(
Emotions run the gamut -- more down the last few days than up - though trying to stay positive
Regularly feel discomfort in my gut from the tumors in the late afternoon or evening -
    Please pray that they shrink....
Still deliberating about whether to get a PET scan early, or just live life in blissful ignorance


Well, the xeloda must have taken the edge off the burst of energy that I was thinking would happen after the IV Vit C infusion and the cold laser therapy on Thursday.  I was a bit perked up Friday, but then Saturday I was pretty tired.  Took a nap, stayed in my jammies lots of the day and in general was discouraged.  Felt decent enough to go to a function for the Missions program at OLu,but there was a lot of standing and visiting and I flamed out really quickly. Don't know why standing just frys me so quickly.

Thankful that I had some increase of energy, but looking forward to being on my xeloda vacation tomorrow, Tuesday, and getting my infusion and cold laser.  Hopefully that will be a more significant upswing - particularly because we are celebrating our 35th anniversary this weekend and I want to be able to enjoy it!

Meanwhile, hand and foot syndrome is acting up.  My pinky and ring finger on L hand are numb at the tips this round of xeloda.  The irritation of my feet gets worse each time and it hard to manage -- they say to wear loose shoes and not have any friction on your feet - fat cotton socks (tho the seams bother me) which is all fine and good, but it is really tough to plan your wardrobe around toe socks and flip flops!  (Not that I am vain or anything....) The sensation in my feet at times is that I am walking on glass, or needles....I walk like I am ninety!  Guessing this will get more difficult with each round of xeloda...praying it stays manageable!

It is really difficult to:
  Stay positive and not get sarcastic and want to just throw in the towel.
  Be joyful always, pray continually and give thanks in all circumstances
  Not be frustrated that I can't walk
  Not lose hope...
  Hope that this is not a "no" answer to prayers, rather a "wait" answer

It is really hard not to cry when:
  I see someone wearing my Team Christine bracelet
  God's promises scream at me - "I will be with you"
  A friend hugs me and says they pray for me
  I think of all the things I wish I had done....

Will end with a sweet story  - again from my Sprouts store.  When I was checking out, the young man asked how I was and I told him I was doing pretty well.  Then, contrary to the usual custom of eyes glazing over as they check you out, he asked why I was doing pretty well.  I told him that I was a stage IV colon cancer patient and that some days were better than others but today was a good one and I was super thankful for that!  He was surprised -- as most are-- and asked if he could give me a hug!!  How sweet was that?  I was really surprised -- we had a nice conversation after that and he wished me well....
This kind of a response restores my faith in mankind!

Thankful for:
  Kind people
  Surprises  
  Beautiful weather
  Watching a friends sweet fur-baby
  Getting to share God's truth and love with several different people, while still in my jammies!
  God's word and promises - how alive it/they are!
  Daffodils
  Unexpected rain - even if only a little
  All your prayers...

Thanks for checkin' in! Y'all are a blessing!