Chemo is kicking my butt ...

Todd is being my scribe here as I lie on the couch.

Since my last post Friday, I went to a friends house for two hours ... and slept.  Lots of pain, horrible diarrhea, quite nauseous and lots of body aches.  Between Friday, Saturday and Sunday early afternoon I have eaten very little - maybe 1,000 calories.

One never knows what Chemo will look like.  Sometimes OK ... sometimes horrible.  I heard of one lady running marathons while doing Chemo.  I would settle for a lap around the house.  Todd took me outside three times.  Once to a friends home (more later) and twice to the edge of our property and back.  Woo hoo.

Tuesday when I received the infusion, the docs had me on a lot of drugs to keep me comfortable.  I slept through most of it.  Wednesday way OK.  The pump was working away dripping drugs into me.  I was fatigued, but able to have a few conversations with folks and eat a bit.  Thursday was a God thing ... I had as much energy in the morning as could be expected.  A friend picked me up and took me to Orange Lutheran (the high school where Todd serves).  It was an amazing experience ... God showed off big time.

I was interviewed as a part of their daily Chapel. Between the students and faculty, about 1,400 attend.  Nervous?  Heck yeah!   I answered some pretty candid questions about my cancer and how I am doing.  I really feel like God used my words to help connect to kids.    After the interview, they brought Todd and me to the center and invited anyone to come forward and pray over us.  Hundreds of students came down.  I was blown away.  The Spirit was quite present.

A student then prayed for us ... then a song (I am a child of God) and then another prayer.  It was overwhelming to say the least.  Here is a link to the whole service.  It is 25 minutes.  If you don't have time to watch the whole video, here is a one minute audio clip of the ending student prayer.  Thank you Jesus for this experience and I pray that it is a blessing to students.

After the chapel service, my friend took me to the oncologist to have my pump taken out and then back home.  I went to bed right away and literally have been sleeping or lying on the couch (with the exception of a couple of hours).  There are lots of adjectives to describe this ... but I will let #CancerSucks suffice.

So how am I doing?
Beaten down, discouraged, nothing tastes good, nothing smells good, on the verge of tears.  My Oncologist says "Chemo for life".  I have no idea how that is possible.  I am shocked as to how weak I am ... discouraged I have lost six or seven pounds this week.  I am really kind of bummed and just don't feel well.

So am I thankful?  Of course.  I am thankful for the drugs that may give me longer life.  Thankful for soft pillows, friends that drive me around, a husband that will make two tablespoons of food and not get frustrated when I don't eat it...  Thankful for the opportunity to share my faith with thousands.  And of course, thankful for you and the many prayers that are offered.

I can do all this through him who gives me strength. Phil 4:13 (I just don't know how!)

And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age. Matt 28:20b

So do not fear, for I am with you;
    do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
    I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.  Isaiah 41:10

Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High
    will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
2 I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress,
    my God, in whom I trust.”  Psalm 91:1-2

Thanks for checking in.
Christine.