Pain Pain Go Away

Pain, pain go away …

Christine originally wrote this blog to give folks a window into the life of cancer patient.  It was meant to bring hope and encouragement.  It is about pointing readers to Christ and His goodness.  These last few posts will be about how to die in faith – and preparing to meet your Savior face to face.

Todd is writing this – though mostly Christine’s thoughts and words.

This last week has been rough.  Very rough.  Pain every afternoon spikes greatly.  Even when we anticipate it with meds, the pain comes quickly and hard.  Morphine continues to rise each day with its effect seemingly weakening.  For comparison purposes, Christine was at 45mg a day in early July.  The last several days have been over 300 mg.

With increase morphine comes increased constipation.  The cancer itself has tumors all through the abdomen, which narrows the digestive track.  For stool to pass it must be soft, so lots of laxatives are taken.  Finding the right combination is impossible.  Because the morphine is changing, no one formula works.

The pain is horrible.  Worse than she has ever had.  The objective is to be pain free – but that is illusive.  Colon cancer claims to be the most painful form of cancer death.  I believe it must be true.

Food intake is limited – still just a few hundred calories a day.  But when food is taken, it has to be processed.  Which causes pain.

The week with family was wonderful.  Saying goodbye for the last time to my children was excruciating.  Words can’t describe the emotion.  Mentally alert, but hugging your son knowing you will not see him again.  All of us weeping … but with tears comes incredible pain for Christine (because of the abdomen tumors) so she tries to suppress the emotion.  It sucks, bad.

Today is quiet.  The pain is worse than ever.  It is the day of the Orange Lutheran 2018 Premiere.  The one huge event of the year.  We have been in ministry over 20 years and Christine has never missed many events – let along the big one.  Today she will not attend.  As of this writing, Todd needs to leave for the event in just a few minutes – but we don’t know if that is wise.  Faithful friends stay with Christine, but it isn’t the same.

So when will the end come?  God only knows.  But our prayers have turned.  We now pray for it to come quickly.  Christine is exhausted from the fight.  She has fought the good fight, done amazing ministry all her life – and now it is time to go to our heavenly home.

Our St. Louis church just concluded a message on Stranger Things.  One week’s topic was on heaven.  Most often in the Bible, heaven is described as a banquet.  Choice meats, fine wines, friends, family – a celebration.  We now eagerly await the celebration in heaven for Christine.

How long does she have?  Who knows.  Maybe a few weeks … maybe less … maybe just a handful of days.  But she is pretty stubborn and she could surprise us all J.

God is good – and we trust in His goodness.

Stay close to Jesus.  Hug your family.  Who knows when it will be the last time?

Thanks for checkin’ in.

·      Isaiah 25:6 - The LORD of hosts will prepare a lavish banquet for all peoples on this mountain; A banquet of aged wine, choice pieces with marrow, And refined, aged wine.

·      Revelation 7:16-17 - "They will hunger no longer, nor thirst anymore; nor will the sun beat down on them, nor any heat; for the Lamb in the center of the throne will be their shepherd, and will guide them to springs of the water of life; and God will wipe every tear from their eyes."

·      Revelation 3:20 - Behold, I stand at the door and knock; if anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and will dine with him, and he with Me.

·      2 Timothy 4:7-8 - I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. 8 Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day—and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing.