Her victory should be soon ...

A brief update as so many are asking.  Thanks for your love and concern!

Christine hanging on. Her victory should be soon!

Christine’s body continues to fight death.   She is quite young and was in good physical shape (we were on vacation in Maine just one month ago!).  She ate healthy and most of her body parts are in good shape.  She has a strong mind and loves life.  While she is ready to go to heaven – she continues to vacillate on that desire.

The one big issue has been medication.  As you know her pain is very bad.  Metastasized colon cancer they say is the most painful of all.  Tumors are everywhere – liver, heart, lungs, colon, all throughout the abdomen – and even many now growing just below the skin surface. Our doctor and hospice has been wonderful.  They daily checking in and adjusting the morphine as necessary.

However, while most get more lethargic with increased pain meds, Christine went from dreams to bad dreams to hallucinations to very bad hallucinations.  The last three days have been brutal.  She explains in great detail for ten to twenty minutes a complex, dark “event” that is occurring.  After quite a while, I am able to gently help her understand it isn’t real.  The doc’s have added several different “downer” type drugs, but all have had the opposite effect.  Some rare patients react differently to these common drugs.  Is it any wonder my bride is uncommon?

Calming to her most is scripture.  We read lots of scripture.  What is amazing is to often see her finish a verse or even paragraph as I read aloud.

We have changed her routine now to a mild sedative.  That is helping.  More tweaking of the medication will happen today – and a nurse will spend the night monitoring Christine.

Sleep for me seems like the mother of their first-born.  I don’t sleep deeply as I am up typically quite a bit.  The last two nights Christine was up from 11:00pm to 4:00am. 

I am blessed by friends who give me a short break during the day for a walk or nap.  But even then, Christine gets anxious if I am not around.

Christine wrote in her own handwriting a couple of weeks ago:

"God takes people at His timing because He's tenderhearted - if taking someone early rather than having a horrid life-  so they wouldn't have to have a harder life.  His motivation is love."
Grammar a little weird.  But her point is clear.

Psalm 13

How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever?
    How long will you hide your face from me?

How long must I take counsel in my soul
    and have sorrow in my heart all the day?
How long shall my enemy be exalted over me?

Consider and answer me, O Lord my God;
    light up my eyes, lest I sleep the sleep of death,
lest my enemy say, “I have prevailed over him,”
    lest my foes rejoice because I am shaken.

But I have trusted in your steadfast love;
    my heart shall rejoice in your salvation.
I will sing to the Lord,
    because he has dealt bountifully with me.

Phillipians 1:18-23

To Live is Christ

...and I will rejoice for I know that through your prayers and God's provision of the Spirit of Jesus Christ what has happened to me will turn out for my deliverance.  I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed but still have sufficient courage so that now as always, Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death. For to me to live is Christ, to die is gain. If I am to go on living in the body, this will mean fruitful labor for me.  Yet what shall I choose?  I do not know. I am torn between the two.  I desire to depart and be with Christ which is better by far.

Thanks for checkin’ in

Todd – for Christine