Hopefully - Chemo 6 today

PET scan scheduled for 8-14 at 10:45- Prayers always appreciated

Weight good 

Energy good - actually really better than I had hoped!

Walking 1.5-3 miles per day - 5-6 days a week - thankful for the energy to do that!

Enjoying company- people coming from all over the country to see me!  The B and B is humming!

  Blessed to have them help with cleaning up and cooking etc!

Stitches continuing to rise and fall

Worry continuing to enter and re enter my mind...

Hair continuing to fall out - but does not look too bad yet

Many people send me articles - links with information.  The most recent one was regarding the use of frankincense with 5fu. I was shocked to see this because 5fu is the base drug for folfox that I was on 5 years ago, xeloda that I was on from August til April, and folfiri that I am on now--It is the basis for the IV chemo drug that I get every two weeks.  

http://roberttisserand.com/2015/03/frankincense-essential-oil-and-cancer/

is the link.  

Basically it says that frank could protect the cancer cells, or it could interfere with the effectiveness of the chemo!  I was shocked because I thought that frank was this wonder oil that was great for everything.....pretty bummed, but gonna stop that while I look into it further.  

Fear continues to rear its ugly head....I am pretty anxious about my PET scan, which is annoying.  Locigally, I have a solid, firm faith and that should take care of the anxiety, right?  Wrong!  It nibbles at me - chewing around the edges of my thoughts.  It reminds me of mice, sneaking in and eating into packages of food, destroying upholstery to make a bed --

leaving poop and a big mess behind and making you feel like you were not smart enough to out smart a mouse!  Worry sneaks in and eats into your peace.  It destroys your calmness and makes you want to scream!  It erodes your calm trust and makes a bed in your soul - pushing out faith.  It colors everything - how I'm going to phrase things - should I really talk about plans for next year? Is that pollyana or is that positive thinking? It nibbles away at the joy of making plans and makes me second guess things that I sayor want to say.   It sets i[ that worry filter (like when you are always looking around wondering if a mouse got it) When I look through my "worry" filter, things look a lot blacker than when I look through God's filter.  In this war, it takes God's truth to fight the nibbling worry - to keep it to "nibbling" and not let it get to "chomping!" 

Prov 12:25 Anxiety weighs down the heart

Phil 4:6-7 Do not be anxious about anything , but in everything by prayer and petition with thanksgiving present your requests to God -- and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.  

I'll just continue fighting this day by day - sometimes hour by hour.  

We attended a memorial service today of a wonderful, Godly man.  It was a fabulous celebration of his life and the influence and impact he had on so very many people.  God carried his wife through this trying day and as I hugged her goodby - what struck me was how effectively she was was using this tragedy, leveraging it to gently point unbelievers to God.  "My husband and I have been praying for you...how is....?" ---over and over.....

When she had been in total shock the day after he died, she had repeatedly quoted scripture...character and faith shine in disaster.

This only can happen when you have spent time with God - lots of time...when you have arranged your day to include time with God....when you have "dwelled" in his presence.  The last line of the 23 psalm is, "I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever."  It is easy to say, " I'll do that tomorrow" but you may not have a tomorrow!  When you take time to "dwell" with God, you gain His strength and wisdom for whatever comes your way.  When you have a habit of dwelling, then you automatically default to His thought patterns and to trust rather than worry and fretting.  It takes repetitive "dwelling". 

Think of being thirsty....does a shot glass of water satisfy your thirst?  Is it enough to keep you going?  Nope - you need consistent hydration with clean water to function.  Don't bank on having time tomorrow to hydrate, to fill your soul.  Tomorrow may be the crisis when you need to be at your best to deal with the worst - when you need your character and faith to shine.  

Take time to "dwell" with the Lord while you can...

Tonight I am thankful for 

My church and my faith family and my Olu family 

Our many friends spread far and wide

The incredible faith filled witness of this family - including the kids-2 of whom sang and 2 of whom spoke - all beautifully!  

Beautiful weather to sit out and "dwell" while watching the birds play and the butterflies flit

My fear, since it motivates me to get back to eating better

The food that I enjoyed when I fell off the "sugar free, gluten free" wagon

Friends who come to visit, send cards, links with information and all kinds of gifts - thank you all!!!

Scripture that grants comfort even when there are no answers

The magic hour of dusk when daylight fades to night

I will leave you with an incredible song - Even If 

https://youtu.be/B6fA35Ved-Y

Thankful for each of you and you prayers! They are carrying us! Love y'all!

Thanks for checkin' in!