Chemo Delay-Prayers please-Fear Stalks

Sorry for the long gap between posts! Between livin' it up and no internet at our house (long story) just have not gotten to post!  So here goes--

Very thankful for a relatively easy chemo #12, now almost 3 weeks ago
Delayed chemo by 1 week to build some memories-
     back to back trips to Iowa and then a trip to Cabo San Lucas, that was thanks to the generosity of friends!
Mouth sores bothering me sporadically
Better sleeping due to reduced steroids (I think)
Nausea a little better, seem to be able to eat a broader variety of things, not just potatoes and pizza
Skin is not doing as well on hands and feet - feels dry, papery and peely
Hot flashes are a pain - was done with those for 2 years and to have them back is adding insult to injury!
Have hardly lost any hair the last 3 chemos-lol shoulda’ gotten the wigs earlier!
Not walking as much
Got to visit our son in Iowa :) -Traveled ok, despite chemo
Thrilled to spend a few days with my son and daughter-in-love to be-nice to be able to help them a little bit here and there.
Enjoying the fall colors and the crisp cold fall air so much —
Loved playing with their cat- an outdoor cat-a tiny fierce calico mouser - 3 kills in one day!

Blessed by some generous friends that I landed back home on Thursday night and flew out on Saturday morning for adventures in Cabo San Lucas!  They spoiled us rotten!  It’s amazing to me how God continues to pour out his blessings on us through our friends!  They are so loving and giving!
In a casual conversation with another friend, Todd discovered they were going to be in Cabo at the same time, and they invited us on a deep sea fishing jaunt!  Never have done that before! Got to see a huge hammerhead shark up close and personal! My tender heart was thrilled that they practiced catch and release!
Sitting by the water soaking up the sun was good medicine!  We are so blessed!  I am so thankful for the love and generosity of our friends...
So much good to report.....

HOWEVER....
We ask for your specific prayers
I can feel that one of the tumors in my gut has grown again....
For a tumor to grow while on chemo is a very bad sign.
When we started this, my doctor hoped to get me to our son’s wedding in December....
We asked God for a miracle and here I am
Now we are asking God that I continue to be the walking miracle that He has blessed me to be thus far...

It is amazing how life changes in a few seconds - ask anyone who has watched a baby be born, or who has ushered a parent home to heaven...Fear is powerful....but our God is greater....

I have often gotten on a soapbox about memorizing scripture as many of you know.  What is in your heart God can bring to the surface when you need it.  I will tell you though, (in the interests of opening a window into my world) that when fear broadsides you, it is very difficult to remember anything!  The devil truly seeks to bury you in fear....it is like suffocating - you desperately grasp and claw for something that will help you breath....

Then God brought me Ps 23 -

I am your shepherd -
     you will lack nothing(as in, “you are a kinda dumb, weak little sheep - I got this-as I always have!”)
I’ll guide you to green pastures with quiet water for you to drink from and rest
I’ll restore your soul
I’ll lead you in paths of righteousness (not easy paths)
When we walk through the valley of the shadow of death you will be with us - we don’t have to do this alone...
My cup overflows....
I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever....

He also brought to mind Josh 1:9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous!  Do not be terrified,
Do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go!

And as I kept asking God to bring me comfort, he brought other verses to me like:
Is 43:1-3 Fear not for I have redeemed you, I have summoned you by name You are mine!
When you pass through the waters, I will be with you,
When you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep you away
When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned.
The flames will not set you ablaze for I am the Lord your God....

Ps 34:19 A righteous man has many troubles, but the Lord delivers him from them all.

And then I went for my memory verse cards...
Ps 30:5 weeping may remain for the night but joy comes in the morning

James 1:2-4 consider it pure joy my brothers (this is a little tough!) when you fave trials of many kinds because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverence and perseverence must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, lacking nothing....

Is 52:12 For the Lord will go before you and the God of Israel will be your rearguard

John 11:40 Then Jesus said, “ Did I not tell you that if you believed, you would see the Glory of God?”

Is 43:18–19 Stop dwelling on past events and brooding over days gone by.  I am about to do something new; this moment it will unfold.  Can you not perceive it?

Ps 42:5 Why so downcast, o my soul? Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise Him, my savior and my God.

John 15:5 I am the vine. You are the branches.  If a man remain in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit.  Apart from me, you can do nothing.

Matt 19:25 With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible

Romans 8:6(b) The mind controlled by the spirit is life and peace

Ex 14:14 The Lord will fight for you, you need only be still

Ps 27:1 The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear?
The Lord is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?

Jer 32:17 Lord nothing is too hard for you

Ps 73:23 My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever....

Phil 4:11-13 For I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.
I know what it is to be in need.  I know what it is to have plenty.  I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry whether living in plenty or in want.
I can do all things thru Christ who strengthens me.

Gen 15:1 Do not be afraid- I am your shield and your very great reward!

Zech 4:6 Not by might, nor by power but by my Spirit says the Lord almighty!

Eph 3:20 Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine,
according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be the glory!

Mark 9:23 Everything is possible to him who believes

Finally, my prayer
Jer 17:4 Heal me Lord and I will be healed, save me and I will be saved, for you are the one that I praise

I am deeply thankful for the walking miracle i have been and we are praying
that the chemo works more effectively
that I am not becoming immune to it
that God works another miracle and shrinks the tumor I feel and any that I do not feel
that fear is kept at bay by dwelling in thankfulness on all He has done
that God chooses to extend my life

Thank you for riding this rollercoaster with us!  We have much to be thankful for - and y’all are at the top of the list!
Thanks for checkin’ in!