Like a baby --

Behaving like a baby -  eating, crying and napping
Trying to keep my mind focused and fight fear
Thankful for my chef and my cheering section (you!)

I knew coming home would be a big shift from Oasis of Hope and thought  I prepared myself well.  Ha!  It's been harder than I anticipated.  There, everyone you spend time with is in the same (ish) situation (cancer patient) with the same mindset (alternative therapy) or they are there to support you in your battle.  There is strength that comes from spending time together - from praying for those who are failing - from worshiping together and from comparing notes on how a treatment went - how many naps you took and sharing tips together.  
Home is wonderful -- nothing like your own pillow and your own potty to make life good!  
(It's the little things!) 
However, there is not the community at each meal that I grew accustomed to -- 
oh yeah and you have to fix your own food!  Thank God Todd is helping me in this fight!   I'm not sure what I would do!  I really miss the gathering of people with the same intention/attitude toward this... 

Combine this with my goofy schedule of napping a lot, it makes planning events- outtings- getting together challenging.  
Yesterday I had a doctor's appointment and chose to drive myself.  I got up, ate, walked almost 1.75 miles,  got ready, drove there, waited, had the appointment, checked in with Todd, drove home, ate and napped after my strenuous morning!  That little bit totally wore me out!  Crazy! 
Today, I had an appointment with an HVAC repairman (thank you God it was for a $3.00 fuse and not a $3000 A/C unit!)  He left by 9.  After some domestic puttering, I gave in to the siren call of my pillow on the patio and slept for over an hour - which did not prevent me from sleeping 1/2 hour this afternoon as well!   
This is so weird for me-- I am used to getting up and pressing hard until well into the evening.  
I remember writing back in the Spring that I felt strongly that God was wanting to teach me a better, more balanced way of living.  This must be part of the plan! Struggling with being content that this is what I am supposed to do.  Submitting to his plan sometimes is easier than others - sleeping is not that rough -- it is combatting the voices in my head that tell me to work, work, work no matter what!   

Very thankful that I can take the time to rest.  Not sure how anyone who is doing this alternative route can manage all the details, rest and work!  So very thankful for all the scrimping and thrifting, saving and debt avoidance that we did over our lifetime to be able to invest it in this treatment which is giving me the best chance of long life.  

Lots of thankfulness in this blog! While at Oasis of Hope, I made a cross of notes what each had multiple things on it for which I was thankful.  It helped to fight the fear.  I need to do that again here at home.  There have been several things that really got my fear going again -- news that several friends are not doing well -- one whose death is imminent - the pain continuing - meeting with doctors who don't understand why I am doing this - wondering how long I m gonna be so tired...

To combat that, I remind myself of all the awesome protocols I have done -- here are a few pictures that cheered me up and reminded me to trust God.  

A small miracle, but I dozed off and slept during hyperthermia and Todd snapped this.  It shows a bit more of the set up with the tent and my beautiful icy helmet to maintain proper body temperature.  

The last protocol was the dendritic cell vaccine.  This shows the last one being administered.   First they iced the skin and then used lidocaine to numb the area.  You can see the fluid beneath the skin.  Amazing that it would be absorbed within hours and hopefully get to work killing cancer cells!!!  Praying that it is still working and that the tiredness is because of the war being waged within! 

Profoundly thankful for all of you carrying me/us through this.  Currently, I'm reading the Healing Power of a Christian Mind and it refers to a study in which a Dr did a study on the power of prayer in which the patients did not know if they were prayed for or not.  In fact the patients did not even know the pray-ers!  (R.B Byrd, "positive therapeutic effects of intercessory prayer a coronary care unit population," Southern Medical Journal, 1988:81:826-829) So in case you needed positive proof that you are making a difference for me -- there is some!  

I leave you with some verses from Ps 34

This calmed my jitters as I waited for my urology appointment yesterday!  

We are thankful for you!  Blessings to y'all!  Thanks for checkin' in!  
  

Home!

A brief post to say that we are back home - after 20 days! Very thankful! 

We were welcomed home to a clean house and a big pot of soup thanks to various friends -
So thankful for this blessing because the house had gotten out of hand with being gone so much and then surgery and then pain...
and the chicken soup is so healing!!!

You will hear more stories later about the amazing place Oasis of Hope is as time goes by.   For now, home is great medicine and I am praying that I can keep up my routine of naps and rest so that the good work that was begun there can carry on to healing!   It will be hard not to jump in again and think I can do things because I feel good -- it's hard to walk that fine line of resting but pushing myself, but not too hard.   

One line kept sticking in my head today --
My integrative doc said, "Go now, while you still have some strength to fight with."  
As I was leaving this morning, I passed a lady that had come in recently who truly looked quite ill, gray and weak, as she sat in her wheelchair -- obviously too weak to make eye contact.  The hardest hit yet tho is a gentleman who came in with me, 20 days ago - and you could not tell he had cancer.  Yes he was slim, but not gaunt. His spirits were great - he and his wife are lovely people and we spent several meals with them.  They had planned to go to San Diego on Tuesday (the day off the vaccine)  It was quite a shock to see his wife come down to breakfast Wed morning and say he had not been doing well - hallucinating and possibly bleeding internally.  As of yesterday afternoon, he was doing even worse.  Things change in the blink of an eye!  One moment you have health - then next you are fighting for your life!  
It is a solemn reminder that it takes everything you have to fight this vicious beast of a disease. 

The moral of the story?  Avoid this at all costs!  
   
It makes me so thankful for all of you who are praying so diligently for me.  This truly makes a difference!  

Have a lovely, restful weekend!  Tell your special people that you love them! 

The Lord bless you and keep you -
The Lord make his face to shine upon you and be gracious unto you
The Lord lift up his countenance upon you and give you peace.....
     Numbers 6:24-26

Thanks for checkin' in! 

Lots going on

Last Vaccine tomorrow  -Monday and Wednesday went as expected
Todd arrived - thankful! 
Walking 2.5 miles a day
Going home Saturday - so tying down lots and lots of details

The vaccines took a lot out of me.  Possible side effects from them include achy-ness at the site as well as flue like symptoms.  I got both of those!  The vaccine is administered under the skin, in the top of the thigh, near the groin, so it has easy access to the lymph nodes there.  That way, the vaccine goes into the lymph system easily and tells it what cells are cancer cells and to kill them. 
(forgive me if I am repeating - I lost track of what I told you already!) 

My vaccines were at 9:30 a.m. followed by 5 min ice, 10 min lying down horizontally and 15 min of walking to distribute the vaccine.  I felt ok until about 3 in the afternoon and then slid down hill.  Usually I had aches and chills, but no fever.  It was not horrible - just something to be endured.  By dinner time, my teeth would be chattering and I went to bed between 6:30 and 7:30....The next day I would feel pretty decent - get up and walk as usual in the morning, but by afternoon my pillow was calling me and I felt achy also.  The leg that got the injection was quite sore in the muscle beneath the injection site - I had a hard time going up and down stairs and limped a bit.    

The Docs are glad for the reaction because it means that my body is engaging in the fight.  I am thankful that it is such a small thing to endure.  Having Todd around made it easier to endure - :)  Glad I did not have to be without a buddy when I felt icky.  God provides doesn't He?

I've been able to walk 2.5 miles every day since Saturday - which is really good.  Having a beach to walk on makes it fly by!  Walking by the ocean reminds me how small I am and how vast God is!  In addition, I have loved hunting for sea glass and consider each piece a miracle since the beach is so busy!   

I cannot believe that it has been 3 weeks (almost) and that we have accomplished all the protocols shown here.  We leave on Saturday, so today and tomorrow is a flurry of appointments with various people and getting prescriptions for follow up care.  There's lots and lots to write about that so that will be later! Suffice it to say that for the next 3 weeks I am to do/take nothing and rest a LOT to give the vaccine a chance to multiply unhindered and fight the good fight!
  
We'll see how that goes - lol  I'll have to figure it out!  It'll be a lot harder at home than here!  

Very thankful for
being this far
friends that we've made
medicine to get me healthy again
Oasis of Hope being an option in the cancer battle
all the employees that work their butts off to make this a great place
God's promises - "I have engraved you on the palms of my hands"
                            "I will never leave you" and 
                            "Fear Not!" and 
                            "Fret Not"  and 
                            "I am with you" 
                            "My peace I leave with you"
All of you!  
Thanks for checkin' in!

Old dog new tricks-

trying new technology -please see my video post in Facebook

https://www.facebook.com/christine.moritz.7?hc_ref=NEWSFEED&fref=nf

Thanks for checkin in!

Don't Worry -

Completed my last Ozone/UV light therapy today

Completed my last Vit C, Vit, K Vit B-17 infusion today
Had an appointment with a doc to determine if hernia or tumor are causing the pain
Feeling very tired and achy - gut upset--

High of the day was Dr Cecena talking about various types of medicines that they use in our treatments.  Both Michelle and I learned a lot!  

Low of the day was that the young patient I spoke about  in a prior blog passed away this morning - A heartbreaking reminder that life is indeed fragile and unpredictable.  

So thankful that we are engraved on the palms of God's hands- 
Is 49:16 and that no matter what ordeal we are going through, God walks through it with us Dan 3:25.  Is 43:1-3.  

Ps 94:18-19 When I said, "my foot was slipping," your love oh Lord supported me
    When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought joy to my soul!

Michelle is leaving tomorrow morning and Todd will be back down here Monday  evening which means that I will be without a buddy or a computer!  I am a big girl, and will be fine - but will really miss her great company and her "gently bossy" way of caring for me!   
So many of your begin messaging me if I have not posted within 48 hours - 
so I did not want you to worry ---
you might not get an update for a few days 
or 
I may surprise you - we'll see how ambitious I am!  

I will leave you with this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7RiV3qASco0

Each of you is a blessing and I am so thankful for each prayer you utter in our behalf!  You keep us strong!  Thanks for checking in - 


  

The Doctor Was In

Met with Dr Contreras and Dr Cecena today 
Left kidney is not functioning  but learning that's ok - strong right kidney! Yay! 
Their 5 yr survival rate for colon cancer patients is 40% compared to my oncologist's 25-30% 
They said that my tumor load was very very low  and that they thought I would respond really well to the protocol.  
They think the pain may be coming from my hernia and will have another doctor evaluate 
     the PET scan to see what she says.  
Because my kidney is not functioning, I have been getting a smaller dose of the Vit C infusion.  It is an equivalent potency to everyone else tho, which is reassuring.  

So how am I really?  
Trying really hard not to be elated or falsely optimistic - but so happy!!!  So incredibly thankful!   

One thing that has really surprised me, is how much face time I get with doctors here.Today, I met with 2 docs for about 45 min. Dr Contreras was out of the country until 2 days ago, or I would have seen him sooner.  Last week,  I had met with Dr Cecena for about 1/2 an hour, maybe more.  In addition, I have had 2 appointments with Dr Peres of about  15-20 min each. I met with Dr Lagos for my intake appointment for 45 min to an hour. During hyperthermia, the doctor in charge of that sat there the entire time for 2 of us! At any time during the day or night, I can ask to speak to a doctor.  This is so different from the amount of time I spend with my oncologist -- This is big enough to be good, but small enough that people know me by name!  (the nurses and the concierge do!)  

On another note - http://www.oasisofhope.com/ if you are in the Dallas area, Dr Contreras will be there - see the link.  

So the kidney is dying but that's ok -- 
there are other functions besides filtering and the kidney is probably still doing those.  There is a test that my urologist can run to determine if it can be saved.  Hoping I can get him to do that.  Basically, even though the kidney is not filtering, the tissue is viable.  It is not like it is rotting or anything - which is what I thought of when they talked about it dying.  It's like the under-performing employee in a company.  They take up space but add little value.  (Michelle's word picture helped me wrap my brain around this!) 

Regarding tumor load - 
Tumor load refers to the number and severity of the tumors that a patient has. Most of the patients that come here have far more tumors than I do.  Based on that, they kind of had the attitude that if most patients need an EMT, I need the athletic trainer to tape my sprained ankle.  (Michelle has great word pictures doesn't she?)   

My pain has been steady.  I look for my painkillers every 5 hours in the morning time and by late afternoon and evening the time gap can get down to every 2 hours.  I thought it was referred pain from the kidney swelling - and they said that it could be.  They also were questioning my hernia and if that was the cause of my pain.  It is hard to say because it hurts in a wide area. I'm gonna try and pay more specific attention to what, when and how it hurts.  
They are having another doctor look at my PET scan to see what her opinion is regarding the source of the pain.  

During infusion, I noticed that most people get 2 x the amount of vit C that I usually get.  I asked about that and they told me that tho the dose is smaller, the potency is the same. They reduce the amount of the liquid because one kidney is not functioning. I am thankful to be receiving the same amount of medicine that they think is wise.   

So thankful to be here - blessed by the spirit of this place and the staff and prayin' for my miracle!  

Hanging on to God as we continue to follow the protocols that they have outlined for me.  

     I will say of the Lord," He is my refuge and my 
     fortress - 
     my God in whom I trust." 
     Ps 91:2

Thankful for all of you!  I am so humbled at how many people are keeping up with our saga!  

1/2 Way Done (1/2 baked)

Doing well 
Hyperthermia again today
Blood draw for vaccine
1st "vaccine" on Sat
Tired today

Cannot believe that I am half way done!  Woohoo!  Yesterday I walked 2 times and the second time was so pretty with sun sparkling off the water.  It was much more crowded tho. Thrilled I felt energetic enough to walk 2 times :)

Yesterday I did not sleep nearly enough - barely any naps  - and they brought my pain meds just after I had fallen asleep - LOL.  I went to bed at 8:30 last night and slept til 5:30 (except for pain medicine)! Another thing to be thankful for!  

One of the best things from yesterday was that we got to hear Dr Contreras speak and he had a Q and A session for us.  He is the son of the founder of Oasis of Hope Hospital and he explained the philosopy here.  At other places destroying the tumor is success.  In the process of the tumor eradication, often the patient dies. Here at Oasis of Hope, the goal is to help the patient live with cancer, not get rid of cancer.  He was funny and said it was like a marriage -- an "I don't bother you, you don't bother me" type of relationship with the tumor.  Success is viewed as the tumor not growing- being held in check - and me being able to live life fully. I like that! 

He talked about all cancers having the same nutritional needs in common which is why the diet is so important.  But again - he was very funny - he said, " If after 3 weeks on this diet, you say "to live is Christ and to die is gain,"  you probably need to re-evaluate your diet.  It needs to be something you can live with and stay on --  The best diet for a cancer patient is vegan and low glycemic index.  I'll share more later from him.  He was an excellent speaker -- passionate, knowledgeable and funny.  


Today I am still tired from yesterday and my day started by getting blood drawn for my vaccine.  We took a shorter walk because I had a limited amount of time that I could eat because I have to fast for hyperthermia.   





We asked Dr Contreras about the role of hyperthermia and what it accomplishes.  It obviously is a detoxing tool but it increases the immune system as well.  It increases oxidative stress which is harmful to the cancer cells and for about 30 min out of the 2.5 hour long process is flat out kills cancer cells.  When your body temperature gets high enough, it kills them.  Obviously it is a delicate balance to not overheat or cause too much stress on the other body systems. Here's a few shots of the row cover type tent and all the wires and tubes.  I had my last treatment today and even with sedation, it was challenging!  This picture is before my body had heated up enough so I was hot enough to feel miserable, but not hot enough to warrant the water infused cooling helmet! 

 
Tho this is a hopeful, peaceful, healing place, sometimes we are reminded that we are in a fight for our lives.  One of the patients here, not even an adult yet, is not doing well at all. You know  when all the doctors come out of the room at one time, and when there is special equipment outside the door, and the whole family - siblings and all - are flown in from overseas-- that things are not progressing the way that they had hoped....It is sobering and causes me to be very very thankful for so many things, like

-this place that offers hope in the face of cancer
-the strength I still do have
-the nurses who work so hard
-pain medicine
-sunshine
-new friends and old friends
-new friends coming together to pray for each other - the body of Christ
-successful surgery for one of our patients
-the chefs here who work hard to love us creating yummy treats -like carrot cake that met our diet requirements to celebrate a patient's 25th wedding anniversary - 

Thanks for checkin' in and walkin this with us - y'all are the best!